The Benefits Project ; phan au

25 ; I Love You

#25

The grass swayed softly and I felt it tingle my hand which was interlocked with the boy laid next to me. I looked to him; his eyes closed, face peaceful. I looked away using my other hand to swipe my fringe out of my eyes. I checked the time as my stomach rumbled slightly signalling it was near lunch time. The fact that we were lying in a farmers field was quite helpful, I sat up and pulled a relatively small diary out of my rucksack. I felt Phil shuffle next to me and open his solid blue eyes.

"Hey there handsome," he said softly.

I grinned shortly.

"Hey," I replied. "Happy 25th, doofus."

Phil laughed and sat up.

"Cheers," his eyes scanned the diary for a few moments. "What's that?"

"It's a diary," I explained softly. "I wrote all the most precious moments we've had together inside it. Then we can read it together and look back on life."

I placed it on his lap and he stroked the leather front before opening it. He flicked through some of the pages, smiling at what I assumed to be pleasurable memories. He handed it back to me and my eyebrows burrowed together. Was he rejecting it?

"Read some to me Dan," Phil said, cuddling close and rested his head on my shoulder so I could feel his light breaths tickling my neck. I opened the diary to a random date and smiled, the sun shonne down on us and the heat radiated our faces as I opened my lips to read.

20th May 2020...

The sun was bright on Brighton's pebbly beaches, scanning across as people played with their dogs and some casually dipping their toes in the ocean. My hand was linked in Phil's as the wind tousled our hair in a frenzy as we watched some of the boats far back in the ocean while listening to the sound our squealing children.

"Hey Phil?" I turned my head to look at my boyfriend.

"Mm?"

"Have you ever thought about it? Us adopting?" I asked softly watching as the child chased each other holding buckets of water and laughing when they managed to soak one of their friends as he squealed loudly.

Phil looked up to the sky, the wind brushing his fringe across his forehead.

"I have actually," He replied. "I can imagine it, and it looks beautiful."

"It does, doesn't it?"I smiled, leaning my head on his shoulder. "I wish I could adopt with you. Imagine that right? Christmas Day, it's seven am and two children — a boy and a girl, come bounding into our room giggling and jump on us screaming "Boo!" and we act scared even though we're not. And then we go downstairs, sitting together as we watch them open their presents from under the tree."

"That's adorable," Phil said, his voice thick.

"We can watch them grow up together, see who they're going to be and help them on that path to who they want to be," I smiled again at the lovely mental images unraveling in my head. Suddenly I felt a nudge via my hip and I looked up to Phil.

"Idiot," he chuckled with tears in his eyes. "You're making me cry."

Tears swelled in my eyes too.

"I am an idiot aren't I?" I sobbed gently and lifted Phil's face so his lips touched mine for a split sentence.

Phil laughed and pecked my lips again.

"Do you think Tilly is going to be okay in the hotel by herself?" he asked.

"Pfft, Phil, she's seventeen, I think she's going to be quite alright," I giggled. "You're already fitting a father character."