For The Love Of A Daughter

Chapter One

I know I shouldn't do it, I thought to myself as I twirled the silver blade between my fingers. Part of me was trying to talk myself out of it.. The smarter half of me. But the other part of me was screaming to do it. "Who cares if you lose too much blood and die?", they voice encouraged. It continued with "Not like anybody wants you anyways. Your mother is dead. Your father hates you. He just got done beating you. Again. Just do it you pathetic piece of shit". Right when I was about to drag the cold blade across my warm wrist, I heard my name.

"Allison!" erupted from down the stairs. I quickly put my blade back in its hiding place and opened the door,

"Yeah Ray?"

"What the hell did you just call me? I am your father dammit and if you can't call me dad then I at LEAST expect to hear sir!"

"I'm sorry.. dad.. what do you need?"

"Get your ass down here right now! Have you cut again?"

"No dad.. I haven't."

"Well then let me see." I held out my wrists. This was a daily routine. I don't understand the point. It isn't like he actually cares at all, it's just an excuse for him to hit me if I cut. Most of the time I'm okay. I'm used to it by now, I have to be. He's been hitting me ever since I've gone through puberty and "matured". I'm seventeen now so that makes it about four years. It's not like I enjoy it. I just know there's nothing I can do except suck it up and get over it. Cutting helps. So does not eating. He starves me most of the time anyways, but when I do get food, it always ends up in the toilet about an hour later. Then I get hit. Because he "wastes" all his "beer money" on some "damn food" for me that I "don't even keep down." A lot of people question why I don't call DCFS. I have. He insisted I must've been "attempting a prank" and then when they checked the house they found it all to be safe. He's such a sly bastard, I doubt I'll ever get away. I closed my eyes, back up in my room, in an attempt to get some sleep. I was awakened when I heard shattering glass from the opposite end of my room.

"You fucking bitch!" Ray said charging at me,

"what did I do?!" I said choking on tears. He's never used a weapon before and I was really scared.

"DCFS just called the house. Did you call them again you fucking mistake!?"

"N-no" I stammered. I honestly had no idea why they called.

"Then why the fuck did they call?" He asked while swinging an empty glass bottle at me. I ducked.

"Maybe a neighbor heard something.." I said. Obviously it was not the right thing to say. He pounced on me and hit me in the head with the bottle. It cracked and fell apart. He had a sharp piece and was cutting and stabbing me all over with it. I was crying out in pain.

"Oh shut the fuck up you little emo shit. You're probably enjoying these cuts! It'll be less work for you later!" and at that moment I lost it. I was bawling. Not from the pain I was in, but because it has never hit me so hard that I have literally no one. I don't even have myself. I'm fucking insane. No friends, no family except Ray, and he can't stand me. I'm truly alone in a world full of happy people. I used to tell myself that one day I'd have someone. One day I'd find my true love. The love of my life. Who loves me. But until that day, I do have Demetria Lovato. My idol. The girl that sings me to sleep through earphones. But.. I can't say I have her, can I? Because she doesn't even know that I exist... Ray gives me one more hard hit to the skull then I hear a loud thunk that snaps me out of my thoughts. Ray is lying on the floor. He passed out. Oh my god. This is my chance. I don't have much time so I grab my valueable items (stuff from/about my mom) and throw them into my guitar case with my acoustic guitar along with my cell phone and charger and I try my best to get as far away as possible. I live in L.A. so it's not too bad out even though it's late and storming. I'm losing a lot of blood and I know it. Which reminds me that SHIT I forgot my blade and some cash. I can't go back now.. I've just got to keep going. I'm too lost In my thoughts to pay attention and I wander onto a busy street. All of a sudden I hear screeching tires and I see bright head lights. Then I fall to the ground. I think I passed out from blood loss. The last thing I remember is seeing panicked footsteps and hearing a familiar female voice shouting,

"Oh my god MAX is she okay?!?"