「firefly」 | The Outsiders

The Memory Remains [Johnnyboy].

| Johnny's POV. |

It had been two weeks since Ponyboy kissed me, and he hadn't spoken to me since. Every time I went to see the gang at his house, he locked himself in his room until I left. Steve told me he'd come around eventually, but I didn't see it happening. I wasn't sure what I did wrong, though. I mean, he was the one who'd initiated it.

I ran my fingertips along my lips, remembering the way they'd felt when connected with his. It hadn't been a full-on make out session, not at all — but it had feeling. The way his hand had felt on my cheek, the way he'd looked at me when we pulled away... I hadn't ever experienced that and, at least from what I'd heard, Ponyboy hadn't either.

So why was he avoiding me? The least we could do was talk about it. In fact, that seemed like the most sensible thing to me.

I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jean jacket now, huffing and kicking a pebble down the street as I walked. I imagined my face looked stormy, and I knew my hair wasn't combed very well. I hadn't had time to fix my appearance before my folks started fighting.

I half thought about just sleeping in the lot again. I didn't want to bother the Curtis', they'd already done so much for me. The whole gang had, really. The fact that I didn't have anything to give in return made me feel more than a little guilty.

Despite how much the guilt made my stomach churn, I continued on my way to the familiar household. It was late, but the door was always unlocked for times like these. After knocking lightly and getting no response, I slowly peeked in. All of the lights except the one in the bathroom were off, so I quietly creeped in. They'd always told me to let myself in if I needed a place to stay, and it was the first time I'd actually done so without them being awake.

The couch was empty, so I took a seat on it, reluctantly pulling off my beat-up sneakers. I set them at the edge of the furniture, laying back and wrapping my arms around myself to keep warm. It wasn't freezing, but it was a little chilly. I closed my eyes, a breath filling my lungs steadily. It had been a pretty long time since I'd had a comfortable place to sleep — a quiet, safe one, that is.

"Johnny?" A voice sounded a few feet away, seemingly shocked. It sounded like Ponyboy, but I couldn't be sure. My eyes instinctively fluttered open, body turning to look at who it was. My first thought had been right, and at this realization I sat up quickly.

"P-pony! I thought you were all asleep, I..." I paused. What did I say? He'd just walked in and saw me laying there. I hadn't even thought of the chance that someone was in the bathroom, let alone that it'd be the one I'd been trying and failing to contact for two whole weeks. "I'll go, i-if you want." He stared at me silently and I got the point. He wanted me gone, and that was fine with me.

With tears in my eyes, I turned and began grabbing for my shoes. "I'm s-sorry to have just barged in, I should've just stayed in the l-lot." I took a seat, beginning to strap my shoes up.

"No!" He whisper-yelled suddenly, startling me. I looked up at him, surprised.

"No, what?"

"Don't go, Johnnycakes. Please."

"Are you sure?" He seemed to be in thought, teeth gnawing on his lower lip for a few seconds.

"Positive." His voice was quieter now. I put my shoes down, looking at him wordlessly. He was avoiding my eyes, and I think we both knew why.

He opened his mouth, then clamped it shut again. It looked as though he wanted to say something, and he did the movement a few more times before I finally spoke up. "Y-you got somethin' you wanta say, Ponyboy?" He looked up, greenish-gray eyes meeting my brown ones.

"I... It's nothin, Johnny. I'll see you in the morning." Before I could think my words over, I said the weirdest thing I possibly could have in that moment — at least in my eyes.

"Stay w-with me f-for a bit?" I didn't usually stutter this much, but I guess that's just how it was around Pony. He turned to look at me before reluctantly nodding and making his way to sit beside me on the couch. I flipped on the television, sure to turn it down so it wasn't too loud. There were a bunch of annoying commercials on, but I wasn't really paying attention anyway. I was looking at Ponyboy, because he was looking right back at me. "A-about what happened—"

"I'm sorry." He cut me off, face full of what looked like regret. My heart seemed to drop right then and there. He was sorry. It was just as I'd thought; a mistake on his part, and a blessing on mine. I looked down quickly so he wouldn't see tears brimming at my eyes again. His words kept replaying in my head. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

"S'okay." I mumbled, hands folding in my lap and eyes firmly planted on them. My vision was blurred, but I didn't even bother blinking the tears away.

"I just meant — I was confused and upset at myself for doin' it, but I had to." This time, I had to look at him. He had to?

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've liked you for a while now. And I g-guess that just scared me. But that night, it was like I couldn't hold back anymore..." He seemed to choke up now, but I couldn't hide my shock.

"Y-you mean you've liked me all this time?" He nodded, biting his lip again. His ears and cheeks were a deep shade of red. A smile hinted at my lips, but I tried to hold it back. "I think I like you too, Pone..." He smiled now, though I didn't understand how he didn't find that out when he kissed me. Maybe he thought I was just kissing him back to be nice, but that wasn't the case at all.

"You really mean it Johnnycakes?" I nodded, and instead of saying anything else, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I returned it, hands instinctively reaching to cup his cheeks. His went to my waist, resting there gently and tugging me closer. It wasn't long before I was straddling his lap, warmth flooding me — and not just on the outside.

"Pony—" I breathed out, pulling away for air. We locked eyes, foreheads touching. He pecked one more kiss to my lips before sliding into a laying position and pulling me down with him. His arms wrapped around me securely, humming softly. I smiled to myself, and for the first time in forever, I felt truly safe and happy. We fell asleep not long afterwards, and I was no longer phased by the cold.

Over a thousand words, whoa!! I didn't expect this one to be that long, but coolio. It isn't my favorite, but overall I'm kind of proud of it. [: