undeniable feelings | a stephchelle story

Chapter 47 - helpless

— MICHELLES POV —

All I want to do right now is have the capability to speak to Stephanie and tell her that I do still love her. What happened wasn't her fault but I have no way of expressing that to her, and it's really frustrating.

I can't even show frustration, a single tear trickles down my face as Stephanie continues to hold me in her arms, her long brunette hair brushing on my face as she sobs into my arm. She lifts her head gently looking back down at me with a tearful expression.
"Please don't cry." She sobs, wiping the single tear from my cheek.

I try so hard to say something, but I can't. The words physically don't come out and I can't do anything about it. I manage to use my strength and smile at Stephanie slightly, attempting to reassure her. She smiles back instantly through tears as she clutches my hand tightly.

I glance at my palm as it's conjoined in her hand. Large sharp wires stick into my veins, stuck with large hospital plasters. I manage to use my thumb to gently rub Stephanie's soft hand.

She pulls herself closer to me, our foreheads in contact as she stares at me tearfully.
"I'm so sorry." She cries, pressing her lips against mine gently and rubbing my cheek. I close my eyelids tightly as she presses her lips against mine, she eventually stops, leaning back up with a serious expression.
"No matter whether you love me or not, I'm always going to love you Michelle." She sobs as tears pour down her face and onto chest.

"I-I'm going to go now, I can't stand to see you like this, I just really wish I could speak to you right now and know what you're thinking." Stephanie's weeps, stepping up from the bed as she gently kisses my forehead.
"I'll give you a break from seeing me for a few days so you can work out how you feel about me, and I'll see you when you come home okay?" She whispers quietly into my ear.

Before I know it she's gone, out of my view. All I want is to be able to be myself again, to cuddle her at night and kiss her unconditionally. But I can't. I'm stuck like this, a broken body. Frustration builds up in my body until it feels as if it's on fire. I  feel myself being able to move more freely as the anger keeps building and building. I forcefully manage to reach out and grab a glass full of water.

I hold the large glass tightly in my hand before chucking it across the room with all the strength I have left. The loud shatters bring multiple paramedics attention, but I've used up all my energy, and all I can now do is sit back frozen, staring up at the blank ceiling as the paramedics reassure me. I don't know how long I can live like this.