The Lifelong Death

33|| Relishing the memories

I wrote like 3/4 of this chapter about 2 months ago so it's "kind of" cringy... but that's how the story is anyways🤷🏻‍♀️

ONE DAY, I'll finish all my previous stories and be able to edit them and make them less cringy In Sha Allah

Please ignore grammatical or any other stupid errors or point them put if it REALLY bothers you, it's unedited

I looked at the table beside me. It had a new phone. The iphone 13.

It would be something I would be dying to buy. But right now, it was as though the materialistic happiness didn't matter one bit to me.

I changed. I didn't laugh the same way anymore. I didn't talk the same way anymore. I didn't live the same way anymore. I was just tired. Tired of everything.

I wasn't even worthy of wishing for my death.

{ ALIZEH'S POV }

"Beta, I have got you some mangoes", ammi said as she brought a packet of mangoes while I came back to reality.

Mangoes, were my favourite, but I really didn't feel like eating them now.

"Thankyou ammi", I said as she handed over the packet to me.

She started feeding me while I tried to stop her, "Arre eat na! (Ugh eat it!)", she said while I gulped the third slice of mango.

"What's the hurry? Let me eat it slowly", I said as I was unable to eat so much all together.

"Alizeh?", she said as she put the packet of mangoes on the desk.

"Yeah?", I replied trying to seem enthusiastic. Pretending to be okay.

"Alizeh, since you have recovered Alhamdulillah", she paused seeming nervous about continuing her sentence , "We will be going back to Dubai. Where you belong. You can start afresh again"

Dubai?!

I belong to Lucknow. This is where my heart is. How can I go back?

I would never be able to start afresh.

Ignoring all my thoughts I nodded.

"So that's a yes?", she asked with a smile.

"Yes", I whispered.

I only agreed because there was no point, absolutely no point of anything anymore. It didn't matter who I was, where I was, if I was alive, anymore. The only thing that mattered was Amir.

"Okay, we are leaving in an hour", she said and left.

I got up from bed and wore a scarf on my head. I went outside the room as I saw ammi and baba standing; talking.

"Baba", I said as he walked towards me.

"You can finally go back, go back to where you belong. You can finally be free", he said.

His words struck me as odd.

Free?

That's what I wanted right?

A lone tear escaped my cheek as I immediately wiped it away.

It was my fault. All because of me.

If I hadn't been so selfish, so goddamn selfish. None of this would have happened.

Why did I alway, always listen to my dumb mind and not my heart?

"Lets go", baba said as I came back to the world I was physically in.