The royal soldier (Levi x reader)

Episode 14

You opened your eyes. A nurse was leaning toward you with a plate full of food.

-Good morning Miss. I will leave your breakfast here.-she put the plate on the side table of your bed.
-Thank you.
-How are you feeling today?
-Better. A lot better.
-Doctor said that you will be able to leave in two or three days.
-He did? That's great.-you smiled.
-I will leave you now.-she bowed and left.

You ate your breakfast and sat on the side of the bed. You grabbed the chair and tried to stand up. You made it but your legs started to shake and you had to sit back down. You decided to do some simple experiences to be able to get back to trainings as soon as possible. After dinner you were laying on your bed as you heard some noises coming from the corridor. Quick steps were getting closer to your door. Someone started to open the doors slowly. It was Levi. He walked into the room and stared at you.

-Levi...-all memories from that day came back.

You couldn't say another word. Words wouldn't come out from you out of fear. Fear of what is he thinking of you now. Will he be able to say that he loves you without that picture in his head? Will you be able to do it?

-(N)...- he walked closer and sat on the chair next to your bed. - (N), I... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. - he covered his eyes with his hand. - I promised you. And...

You saw a single tear falling down his cheek. You took his hand out of his eyes. He looked at you. You saw sorrow in them. And you were the cause of it. You didn't even noticed when you started to cry. You touched his cheek. He took your hand in his and kissed it.

-I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. Some things have happened. But I will tell you everything when you are gonna feel better.
-It's okey. The doctor said I may go home in two or three days. - you said silently.
-That-That's great. Um, Do you need anything?
-Actually something to read would be nice.
-Sure. I will bring you something from the library nearby.
-Thanks.-you smiled sadly.

You couldn't escape the pain coming from your chest. You couldn't think of anything else.

***

Today you were leaving the hospital. Thanks to the exercises you were able to return to your duties in a few days. You made it to your base and just when you got of your horse you heard someone calling your name.

-(N)!-it was Eren.

He ran to you and hugged you tightly. You immediately froze and stopped breathing. Some pictures flew through your head. Eren moved to look at you not noticing your reaction . You smiled slightly.

-Eren... Its good to see you are safe.
-Me? I was so worried about you. Levi wouldn't tell me anything about what happened.
-I'm sorry. I can't tell you either.- you looked away and saw two figures near stables.- Who are they?
-You are changing the subject.-he sighed.-That's Mikasa and Armin. They are my close friends and now a members of squad Levi as well.

You waved at them. The tall girl waved back and the boy with blond eyes smiled friendly. You looked back at Eren.

-I'm sorry Eren. I really don't want to talk about what happened.
-Was it Levi? Did Levi hurt you?
-What?! No! He wouldn't do such thing.
-Well I don't know. As much as I know him he is quite... I don't know. I'm just worried.
-He...he wouldn't.- you started to shake a little.
-He told me to tell you that he wants to talk to you in his office.
-T-Thank you.
-Are you sure it's not it?
-I'm sure.
-Okey. Give me your horse. I will take it to the stable.
-Thank you.

You handed him the rains and walked inside the building. You didn't talk much with Levi when you were in hospital. Both of you felt quite uncomfortable but didn't even mention that day. He insisted to tell you everything when you come back. About the things that happened while you were in a coma. You walked upstairs and stopped at his door. When you raised your hand to knock the doors suddenly opened.

-Come. I have to tell you what is going on finally.-said Levi.

You walked in without a word and sat on the chair facing his desk. He started to talk. The words you heard were hitting you like cold wind.

-So... You tell me the titans are humans?
-I'm telling you they were humans.
-Wait... You said that there was a lot of casualties. And. That a whole squad died protecting that tower. - your heart started to beat faster as you saw him looking away and not saying a word. - Levi? - you started to breath faster. - Levi, whose squad was this?
-(N)...-he looked at you.
-Tell me!-you almost screamed.

You stood up, from emotions you couldn't sit still. Tears started to fill your eyes as you already knew what is the answer.

-It was your old squad. - he said quietly looking at you with a worried expression.

As you heard the words coming out of his mouth your heart exploded. You started crying.  The pain in your chest got even stronger. Levi came closer to you and tried to hug you.

-No! - you screamed with a panic in your voice and jumped back falling on the floor. - Don't touch me...

You didn't know what is happening. All you could feel is fear and pain. You couldn't catch a breath. Your vision was all blurred. You heard someone slamming the doors open.

-(N)?! - it was Eren. - What is going on? What did you do? - he faced Levi.
-I... I....- he couldn't say a word.

He was still looking at you with the same fear and pain that you saw in his eyes that day. You tried as hard as you could to calm down but when you thought it's getting better in your head were appearing images. Of him looking at you, of that day, of your squad, of Petra, of Nanaba smiling at you.  Levi looked for a second at Eren and left his office. Eren kneeled next to you and rises his hands to grab you.

-Don't touch me! - he froze as those words came out of you.
-He...He really did... - his face got almost red from anger.
-N-No... - you shake your head. - Please just leave me alone for a moment.

He left not saying anything. You grabbed your head. You couldn't calm your breath.

-Stop it.- you said to yourself.

You started punching the floor with your fists. And as the pain was spreading through your arms slowly you were able to calm down. You stood up and opened the doors.  Your head felt heavy. You couldn't really see or notice anything what was before you. Somehow you got to your room. You lied on your bed and immediately fell asleep.