drowned energy » poetry

the testament of a teenager's accident

and they say i'm progressing but i feel as if i'm regressing

but i was never in my right mind anyways, i'm sorry for confessing.

i'm sorry for confessing that i often think about a life where i wasn't my mother and father accident.

i often wonder why people were reluctant to help her raise me, it's like they wanted to stop her future from happening.

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and they say that what i identify as is unnatural and that it's a lifestyle.

but as i sit there and listen to them, i realize that both my sexuality and the color of my skin could get me shot down.

i'm sorry for bringing you into the reality of a queer minority,

but sometimes you have to understand the world from my perspective instead of making your judgement against me a priority.

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and they say that i'm only going live to be the daughter of a statistic, as if that mentality isn't already stored in my brain.

but it's hard to think of something positive as i see teenage mothers and their children being thrown out in shame.

sometimes, i wonder why the government doesn't want the best for us.

they claim that some people are burdens but they pay more money to get a nut bust.

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and they say that my people will never be shit

but that's funny to me because for centuries, it's been our history that they've decided to twist.

sometimes i wonder what did we ever do wrong

because there's no way in hell my ancestors should have been forced to work in a field, their midnight screams turning into an overplayed song.

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and sometimes i wonder if my mother is going to love me years down the line.

it seems like after i told her that i wasn't crafted for a man, she wanted to take a breath and rewind.

sometimes, i seem like a disappointment and that's why i took a shot of her wine at midnight.

i just wanted to get her shocked looks out of my atypical and drunken mind.

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and sometimes i wonder if i'm good enough for society

they tell me that i'm perfect but i hate when people lie to me.

sometimes, i wonder why my life is unchangeable, written in cement.

this has been the testament of a teenager's accident.

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i don't know why i wrote this, just had to.