drowned energy » poetry

seven days of mind

((luna»7/10/17))

it'll be a month in 4 days

and i'm sitting in an unknown setting, sketching a body frame.

i'm sitting amongst unknown people and one familiar face.

sometimes i wonder how she's doing today, sometimes i wonder why my mind shifts from place to place.

sometimes i what smoke in my lungs would feel like, for i'll never be able to partake in it or have a trace.

i wonder why she does the things she do.

why she hides herself in patterned sweaters or why she's obsessed with crystals and the color blue.

and even when i write my rhymes, she's in mind.

for she's gave me inspiration even when she was nowhere near her prime.

          
                                         ★lunae★

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(mars»7/11/17)

i'm now plagued with the disease of unoriginality.

she's contaminated my words and i'm searching for inspiration from colourful idols that look like me.

see, i keep trying to picture us in a time where none of us exist and i don't know why.

for god knows that we'd both suffer from rugburns because i depict us as the type to slide.

maybe it's my pride and i'm ashamed of my era

but that's still impossible since back then, my people lived in terror.

now up my polyester sleeve, i feel a bleached-out, ruby-haired ghost that won't leave.

she bellows foreign lullabies that fail to put me to sleep.

she fails to allow me to close my eyes but she remains present in my haunting dreams.

so of course i'm going to repeat myself because at this point, she's poisoned my dialect and my speech.

she led me on the road to my demise, her issues stuck me like an iv.

but i can't think for myself anymore and honestly, i don't know what that means.

i can think about is how we identify with a certain side of the yin-yang sign and how she sows dandelion weeds through the seams of her jeans.

my mind is blank.

therefore, this rant remains untitled.

       
                                      ★martis★

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((mercury»7/12/17))

sitting here, reminiscing over the things that boil my blood.

my fingertips quiver, my pigmented lips quake,

my hair becomes gray and it's anger i can no longer take.

but i'm angry at myself for loving you because you kill me slowly everyday. i'm angry at myself for caring enough to the point where i'm willing to die for you.

you give me nothing in return yet and still love you.

unfortunately, it's you i yearn and it makes me livid everyday. for even though loving you is full of color, i can't help but feel overwhelmingly gray.