The deal

Chapter 11. Feelings

Ally
I woke up screaming again. It was 3.45 in the morning and I've been having the same nightmare since Friday. I stood up and walked to the kitchen, my hands were shaking and my heart was hammering in my chest, I poured a glass of cold water and drank it quickly spilling some water on Blake's sweatshirt which I had been wearing since Friday. I took a blanket I had left on the couch and opened the terrace door, covered myself with it and cuddled in the armchair. I breathed the cold air of the early morning and tried not to think about my current state because everything was a huge mess.

My life was so fucked up and everything got so much more complicated since Friday and the night I spent at Blake Sterling's apartment.

I touched my lips thinking about how Blake had woken me up while I was having a nightmare and when I saw him standing there I threw myself into his arms like a little girl. I was so scared that I didn't think about it.

I have never told anyone about my mom except for Marissa, but with Blake was different. He told me I could trust him and I believed him, so I  told him everything about my mom and the way she died and why I'd always feel guilty about her death and what did he do? he fucking kissed me! But the worst was that I never thought for a second to move away, it was as if a magnet pulled me to him and while he was kissing me I felt as if a huge weight had been lift from my shoulders but also a thousand sparkles erupted in my stomach. While he was kissing me his hands held my face firmly but softly, our lips moved in sinc. I didn't want him to stop.

Then he said I was an amazing girl and that he wanted to make all the pain go away and kissed me for the second time he, carried me in his arms and put me in his bed,  he laid on the bed and hugged me while I rested my head on his chest. The peaceful sound of his heart beating and his strong hand making circles in my back make me drift into a peaceful sleep with no nightmares in it.

I sighed and I hugged my legs resting my forehead on my knees and realized I craved so much to feel his arms around me again but at the same time I was scared of feeling this way and that's why I just run away from his apartment before he would wake up.

I also looked at my bruised hand and how I had crashed my fist into Daniel Felton's nose and a faint smile appeared on my lips I touched them and I remembered how he had kissed me again.

Dammit! Stupid Blake why did you have to do that!

While I had these thoughts the sunlight was starting to shine but I felt my eyes heavy and suddenly darkness engulfed me.

...I was standing in the middle of the staircase of my house in St. Clair and could see my mom knocking the door of my old bedroom telling me she was leaving to L.A and that she loved me. I felt my heart aching and felt the need to slap the hell out of my thirteen years old self for not opening the door. I followed my mom and I was standing next to her at the airport when she kissed my dad goodbye but she couldn't see me. I was sitting next to her in the plane and could see her sad face while the plane took off. I tried to touch her hand but the next thing I knew was that I was standing in the middle of a dark cold forest and heard a loud noise coming from the sky, I could see a plane falling down and heard the screaming of people I covered my ears but I could clearly listen my mother's voice calling me and when I turned my head up a red hot ball of fire pushed me back with an incredible force making me fall on my back. Once I was up I could see pieces of the plane everywhere around but there was no one screaming anymore. I ran around the pieces still on fire looking, screaming and yelling for my mom but I couldn't find her... then I heard someone calling my name...
"Ally..."
"Ally..."

"Ally wake up." It was Jeremy shaking me.
I jumped from the armchair and pushed him backwards. My face was wet in tears and my body was shaking. Jeremy took me in his arms and I cried while Jeremy held me in silence rubbing my back until I calmed down.

"Are the nightmares back?" Jeremy asked still rubbing my back. I just nodded and held tightly to him. The nightmares started just after my mother's accident. My dad was too depressed at that time and I spent a couple of months with the Knights and Jeremy was with me every night, they took me to the doctor and had some medication and therapy until they stopped.

"How long have you had them?" He asked softly.
"For three days" I said with a soft raspy voice.
"Are you going to do something about it? He asked and I jus shrugged. I didn't know what to do.

We just stayed there in silence sitting on the floor for a while until the awful sensation from the nightmare went away.

"Are you feeling better now? Jeremy asked.
"Yeah" I said and walked to the kitchen and poured some juice in a glass.
Jeremy was doing the same when the doorbell rang.
He walked to the door and watched the intercom's screen.

"It's Bradley" He said while I put the glass on the counter but dropped the glass with my shaky hands.

"Don't answer! " I yelled at him

"Why?" He asked surprised.

"Because I don't want to see anybody, please Jer" I explained but the truth was that I didn't want to see Blake and I was sure Bradley was there to look for me.

"Is there a problem at the firm? He asked again.

"No" I answered flatly but to Jeremy raised an eyebrow and looked at me warily.

Then the doorbell rang again and I just jumped in my spot.

"Then, why are you so nervous? He asked and I just rolled my eyes.

"Jeez, I'm not" I lied but my body showed otherwise.

"If you say so," he said and walked to his room. "I'm taking a bath so I can go to the firm. If you want to go you can come with me. We got a case against McFarland again. I not only found the driver, I found more people. We could go for a collective sue you know? I don't think it's good that you stay here you need to get distracted." He suggested and I shook my head.

"Whatever Ally" He said and walked to his room.

I looked at the screen and Bradley was still there. Damn!