The deal

Chapter 16. Realization

Ally
I asked the cab driver to drop me by in a park a couple of blocks away from my apartment. I sat on a swing and rocked for a while trying not to think to much.

My phone went off again, I checked the caller id and it was him, again. I ended the call.

The only person I needed then was my best friend Marissa, so I called her. I had missed her so much and even though we have talked before I haven't told her the whole story about Blake and all the stuff that had happened recently.

"Issa?" I said with a broken voice.

"Honey what's wrong?" She said worried.

"A lot of shit has happened and I don't know what to do." I choked.

"Ok, tell me everything from the beginning." She said calmly.
I began to explain and told her everything about Blake and how one thing has got to another and how confused I was about him. I also told her about Jeremy and about the nightmares.

"Are you in love with him?"?Issa asked referring to Blake.

"Damn... I don't know sometimes I feel that I have feelings for him but some others I hate him like today. Issa, I'm so fucked up." I said honestly.

"I'm going to be totally honest honey, I think that you have feelings for him and you don't want to accept it." Issa said and I felt my heart clench. I kept silent and she continued "Why? Well here's the answer. You thought you loved Daniel but he cheated on you and lied to you and you didn't realize that you have never fallen in love for anyone until now, the problem is that he hurt you and now you are confused about your feelings.  Alls, I'm pretty sure you have feelings for him but you don't want to be hurt again, right?" She questioned me.

"Fuck!" I said running my hand through my hair because Issa was right.

"Yeah, well you have a lot to figure out honey, but take your time, put your shit together and decide what's best for you. Maybe you can start finding out what exactly happened the night of the accident, there are some loose ends in that story Ally. To start, Harry told me that day that he thought the drink you took had some drug on it, he wasn't sure and we didn't want to scare you that day because you had enough to deal with at that time but have you thought about it?

"Yeah, there are so many things about that night that I need to get straight."

"I think Blake is hiding something about that night and he used that information to blackmail you and make you sign that deal." Issa said.

"Of course he is, and I'm going to find out what it is!"

"Maybe some distance will help you to find the answers you are looking for and...  You also need to give closure to your moms thing Ally, I think your mom is not happy seeing you like this. It wasn't your fault honey, everything happens for a reason and it's not your fault that she died." Issa said and tears started falling down my cheeks.

Oh gosh, I wish you'd be here!"  I sobbed.

"Yeah, me too."She told me with a broken voice too. "I know sweetie, I'll be there soon, I promise." She said and we hung up not before saying goodbye.

I walked back to my apartment with one thing in my mind. Put my shit together. The phrase kept replaying in my mind and then I knew what I should do first.

Blake

"I'm sorry to tell you but you were a total jerk to her. " Bradley said while I was at the gym taking it out with the punching bag.

"I know." I told him panting.

"Why didn't you ask her about Jeremy? You just assumed information but never confirmed it." Bradley continued questioning me and I punched the bag harder.

"Jeez. I don't know ok? I was jealous. I couldn't think clearly besides, I was trying to avoid this feeling." I snapped.

"You deserve to be in love again Blake, you can't live with Emily's shadow over you." Bradley said and my heart ached at the memory of Emily. "I don't think she would like to see you mopping around for her for so long."

"Do you think she would be happy for me?" I asked and he nodded.

"I could bet on that."  He said smiling.

"I don't know where to start."  I scoffed and then continued hitting the bag.

"Well, to start, do you realize that you fall for her the moment you saw her? The moment you jumped in that ambulance like a crazy person." He said in a mocking tone and I stopped hitting the punching bag and sat on the floor resting my arms on my knees.

"I know Brad, you don't have to tell me about it." I said.

"Did you tell her anything about that night?" He asked and I was aware of how stupid I had been. I never told her anything about that night. I lied to her and then never told her that I was there, that I was in the ambulance and at the hospital and that I used all the information and the test results to blackmail her.

"No." I answered flatly and Brad gave me an are you fucking kidding me look and shook his head.

"Do you love her?" Brad asked and I knew I did so I nodded.

"Are you going to loose her?" He touched my shoulder and gave me a concerned look. I didn't want to loose her. I lost Emily 5 years ago because of leukemia and I wasn't able to fall in love with anyone, until her, the most beautiful girl with bright hazel eyes and dazzling smile, crashed my stupid car.

"What do I do?"

"To start you should tell her everything about that night, break that stupid deal and stop behaving like a jerk to her. Maybe that way she won't hate you and you can make her fall for you." He palmed my back.

"I don't want to loose her." I said looking up.

"So, what are you going to do?"  Bradley asked. I smiled but also my heart clenched because I had hurt her in so many ways and I didn't know if she would give me the chance to make it up for her.