Again | Luke Hemmings

ii

I woke up to a dark room that I later recognized as mine. I sat up from my position and tried to remember what happened and how I even got here. My head was pounding even if I barely drank tonight or whatever time it was right now. Did I even drink? Did I even talk to anyone? My mind was so blank, I really couldn't remember.

"Hi." A familiar voice spoke, startling me. "You alright?" His voice was deeper and his accent has faded.

I remained quiet and clutched my blanket tightly. What is he doing here?

"You had a really bad fall so I brought you back here." He spoke softly. I couldn't care less about my fall, I was curious about how I got here and why he was still here.

"Bailey's still at the party so she gave me the address to your apartment."

I nodded once, still not looking at him because if I do I might have a breakdown or something.

"She said you had her keys so I got it from your bag and gave it to her."

I stayed quiet, looking down at my blanket, playing with the fabric a bit.

"How have you been?" He asked. I heard him get up from wherever he was sitting and hesitantly walked towards me, switching on the lamp beside me.

I didn't respond. I noticed that I was still in the same clothes that I wore to the party. My hair was most likely a mess and my make up was probably smudged. I couldn't clean myself up since he was still here.

"The band is a success." He said, trying to get me to talk and sat at the edge of my bed. I didn't really care if his band was a big success, I didn't really care at all. What is he still doing here anyway? Normally, people would just leave after helping an unconscious person.

He sighed, knowing I wasn't going to respond. "How are you feeling?"

I looked out the window beside me and shrugged, observing one of the street lights that flickered on and off.

"You look great, by the way." He mumbled.

I blushed at his compliment, but I chose not to respond again.

"So this is where you live now?" He asked, his eyes scanned my room. "It's really nice."

Tears started to form in my eyes and a sudden anger was building up inside of me.

"Please say something." He begged, placing his large hand on my exposed knee, causing me to flinch at his cool touch so he took his hand away, placing it back on his lap.

I didn't respond again. Please leave, Luke. My mind begged.

"Jordin, please." He sounded like he was about to cry and the way he said my name made him sound tired, sad and vulnerable at the same time.

I finally gathered the courage to actually face him for the first time tonight. My eyes widened when I came face to face with the guy I was all too familiar with. His hair was no longer in that stupid fringe, his eyebags had gotten bigger, but then again, I have big eyebags too so that wasn't much. He has a black lip ring on the side of his lip which made him look more attractive than he already was. He wore a red flannel and left a few buttons undone so it exposed his chest. He looked more mature and fit since the last time I saw him and he changed so much in such a crazy amount of time that I found it hard to believe that this is the guy I fell in love with then.

"Luke," I began, but my voice came off weak.

He looked up at me and our eyes connected for the second time in years- okay, just two years. His eyes held a glimmer of hope and it pained and angered me just by looking at them.

"Leave." My voice came out as shaky and weak but I didn't care.

"What?"

"I said leave. Please." I asked, forcing back the tears. Don't cry.

"I wanted to see if you're alright." He mumbled.

"I'm alright now, go." I said flatly, keeping my eyes on his. He furrowed his eyebrows together, clearly confused.

"What?" He asked.

"I said get out." I said more sternly. I could feel tears forming in my eyes again.

I knew what he was trying to do; whether it was just helping me from my 'bad fall' or finding his way back into my life or both. I finally got over him and now he just comes back into my life purposely or not and everything was going really well for me, but that might not happen anymore after tonight. If he doesn't leave now, I am afraid I will go back to my old self.

"Okay. I'll, um, see ya around." He gulped visibly, running a hand through his hair.

He stood up from his place and I watched him leave my room, he took a quick look at me before he closed the door behind him.

I definitely did not want to see him around anytime soon.

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding and ran a hand through my hair. I winced in pain when my hand made contact with a small bump on the side of my head. Did I fall that hard? I grabbed the mirror from my bedside table and examined my face. A bandage on the side of my forehead and a small cut in the middle of my left eyebrow. No matter how much I hate him right now, I couldn't help but feel slightly happy that he still cared. At least.

I placed the mirror back on the table and got up from my bed to clean myself up, mentally debating whether I should skip classes tomorrow or not. The latter winning. There is a big test next week so I might as well not miss a class.

I opened my small drawer and looked for a cigarette and a lighter. Once found, I light it up and placed it in between my lips. I crawled over to the side of my bed and opened my window to let the smoke out. The smell of nicotine calmed me down and gave me a peace of mind for a while.

I inhaled and exhaled the smoke, events from tonight slowly clearing from my mind, as well as everything else. I stayed in my comfortable position beside the window for a good 10 minutes until my cigarette was finished and threw it in the trash can beside my bed.

No one but Bailey knew about my smoking habit, but I plan to stop soon. It helps me to relax and relieve myself of all stress. I don't smoke all the time but it's nights like these that makes me need to.

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Edited!!