For the love of Christopher

Chapter 15 Heart rules head

I didn't sleep much after the hearing. My mother and Jack seemed to be two different people after Mum's ordeal in court. The last couple of days of our time in Greece were sad affairs. We didn't discuss the court case. Maybe we should have, but the pain was still deep and I don't think any of us wanted to live through it again. My mother looked ill. She was very pale and her eyes looked very tired. She was a shell of her former self and I felt guilty that I had subjected her to all this.
On the morning we were flying back, I received a phone call in my room. It was Helen and she wanted to meet me outside the Metro station. I really don't know why I even considered it. I was feeling depressed and I was still very angry with her.
"Please, Ian, please meet me," she begged. "I have to explain all those things I said in court."
I don't know why I agreed to meet her, but I did. I certainly wanted to find out why Helen had tried to destroy me in court. I went to see my mother and I lied to her again. "I need to clear my head," I said, and tried not to look guilty."I'm going for a walk around the city. I want to leave all my memories behind, and leave them where they were made if you see what I mean."
Mum nodded her head. I knew she was weary of it all and so she simply let me get on with what I said I had to do.
"Okay." Jack didn't say anything. I didn't know what he was thinking, but I knew he was still upset by the way they had treated my mum in court.
I caught the train to Piraeus which didn't take long - about thirty minutes in all. My emotions were playing tricks me. I had butterflies in my stomach. I didn't want to be excited about seeing Helen after what she did to my mum and me in court. In spite of all that, I travelled to meet her even though I felt I betrayed my mum in doing so. I shouldn't have been anywhere near Helen, but I was following my heart for the most basic of all reasons – love.
Helen was already there when I arrived and I noted she wasn't dressed like the night I stayed out with her. She was dressed in jeans and tee-shirt. It crossed my mind that her seductive clothing had worked the night before the hearing, but she obviously wasn't there to seduce me again. She wasn't shy at all with me. She just came straight out with it and said, "I'm sorry." I looked at her in disgust. "Can we go for a coffee so we can talk?" she asked.
I stared at her with wide angry eyes. "I'm not going anywhere with you. You have a cheek asking to see me after what you did. I don't think I could ever forgive you."
"Please, Ian," she begged. "Please come for a coffee so I can explain."
We went into a cafe in a side street. It was only small, nothing special, but I didn't care. "I can't believe I'm even here speaking to you, let alone having a coffee with you. Just get on with it; the sooner this is over, the better then I can go back to the hotel."
I bought her a coffee and I had a beer. She told me it was her lawyer who made her and her family say those things about me in court. "He told me I had no choice if I wanted to keep Christopher. I didn't want to lose him forever."
I just looked at her, dumbfounded. I was numb inside. Didn't she realise that was exactly how I was feeling? I didn't want to lose Christopher forever either. Those feelings weren't solely reserved for her. She had lied in court to keep Christopher and all I did was tell the truth. We both had a right as parents to keep him, but in this sad case, I had the law on my side as far as the Hague Convention was concerned. Christopher had been born in England, was English and English courts had to decide his future. She was crying and asking for forgiveness. She held my hand and begged me.
"All I said in court was that I loved you," I reminded her. "Even after all the bad things you said against me. We had made love the night before and you said you loved me. What am I supposed to do, Helen?"
She was crying bitterly. "I'm sorry. I still love you. I want you to stay in Greece with Christopher and me. We can both get jobs and our own house and live a happy life together."
I gasped at what she was saying. "What?' I questioned. "Vangelis and Maria hate me. I couldn't live under their scrutiny all the time."
"They have both agreed that you can stay in their house until we can find our own place to live," she told me.
My head was all over the place. I couldn't forgive her, but deep down I still loved her and wanted to be with her and Christopher more than anything else in the world. I was numb and so tired and still crying inside. She had confused me more than ever, but I kissed her goodbye thinking it I would be forever.
When I arrived back at the hotel, my mum was waiting for me and she wasn't pleased. "Where have you been? You are the late and we have to go to the airport now," she snapped. Jack had already brought my suitcase down to reception. I knew they were annoyed with me, but I didn't say anything about where I had been.
Just as we were leaving the hotel, the telephone rang at the reception desk and the receptionist called out that the call was for me. It was Helen begging me again to go to the house. She was crying and sounded desperate.
"I can't," I said bluntly and then put the phone down. "Who was that?" my mother asked.
"Nobody important," I said. "Come on, let's get going." During the taxi ride to the airport, we were all quiet. I was
thinking about Helen and Christopher and how I wanted to be with them. How on earth could I tell my mother and Jack that I wanted to stay in Greece? I knew it would break my mother's heart and Jack would be very angry with me. I struggled with my conscience, but I had to do what I felt was right for Christopher and for me.
We arrived at the airport and I still couldn't keep Helen out of my mind. We checked in and made our way to Passport Control. My mind was racing. What the hell am I going to do? I have to make a decision and quick!
My mother and Jack walked through the barriers. I stopped dead. My mother stopped and turned round. "Come on, Ian. We have to go."
I just looked at her and fought back my tears. "I'm sorry, Mum. I can't come home with you. My life has to be in Greece now."
I could see my poor mother breaking up. She had gone all that way to defend me in court. I had been devastated by the treatment she had received and now I was expecting her to understand what I was doing for my own reasons. "Bye, both of you. I'm sorry. I love you." I didn't know what else I could say.
As I walked away, I turned round and saw Jack holding my mother in his arms. I knew my mother would be heart- broken. I was upset by what I was doing to them, but I loved my wife and child and I simply could not leave them behind in Greece. I felt my place was with my wife and child in Greece. I hoped my mother and Jack would understand why I couldn't leave my family and live alone in England. My suitcase had to be taken off the plane and after I collected it, I headed for the exit. I watched with tears in my eyes as the plane took off carrying my mum and Jack back to England. It weighed heavily on my conscience, but my heart strings were pulling me in another direction.
All the way to Helen's house, I couldn't stop thinking about my mum and Jack and I had to wonder if I were doing the right thing. Surprisingly, Maria was smiling when she met me at the door. Vangelis was on his way out, but he shook my hand as he left. Christopher was playing with his toys and was happy to see me. "Come and play with me, Dad," he said as I went in. I played with him for a while just like the old days. I had longed for that dad and lad situation and for it to happen again was magical for me.
Helen acted as though nothing had happened. She was very chatty and loving towards me and the first thing she asked was, "Are you going to drop the kidnapping charges now?"
"In the morning," I said without enthusiasm. "Let's not think about that just now."
She led me onto the balcony with Christopher. She seemed so happy and kissed me occasionally to show affection. We were on the balcony for a while talking about our new life in Greece and what the future held for us. There was something about the way Helen described what our lives would be like that made me silently question my decision. The more we talked, the less I was sure about living in Greece. I kept looking at Helen and thinking to myself, I can't trust her even though I love her. How can I possibly live in this house where Maria tried to break up our relationship when I first came to Athens? Doubts were creeping into my mind. I gazed around the house trying to find something to convince me to stay, but there was nothing. I hated Maria and Vangelis with a passion and I could never forgive them for what they had done. Helen had been very quick to ask me to drop the kidnapping charges. 'Are you going to drop the kidnapping charges now?' Did Helen's question hold the key to why they were so keen to have me back in their home? Would they kick me out again once I had dropped the charges? I wanted Christopher to go back home to England, the land of his birth. I wanted the right to take him there, but not at the price they were charging. I realised I had made a very big mistake in returning to their house.
That night, when we went to bed, we made love and clung together, enjoying the closeness of our bodies and the gentleness of each other's touch. As Helen slept, I held her close for the final time and whispered in her ear, "I love you, my Greek princess and I always will. I kissed her on the cheek and turned over. Sleep evaded me. Thoughts of Mum and Jack played on my mind. I needed to be in my home in England, not in the home of people I did not trust. I knew I loved Helen, but that was simply not enough. Eventually, I went to sleep knowing I would carry on the fight take Christopher home where he belonged.
In the morning, Helen was really happy especially as she thought I was going to drop the kidnapping charges. I knew she would be afraid of going to prison and that's why she had come on strongly to me the night before. We left the house and walked down the hill, the hill that had featured so many times in my life during the past year. There would be no more weeping as this would be the final time we walked together down that hill of tears. When we arrived at the bus station, I silently confirmed I would be going home to carry on the fight for Christopher to finally take him home.
I stopped and turned to Helen. "I'm not staying in Greece," I told her clearly. "It's not what I want and it's not what I want for Christopher."
I could see her temper rising. "What?" she yelled. "You rotten English bastard! You led me on to think you would stay."
"No, you led me on," I said with very little feeling and I walked away to go back to the house for my suitcase. I said nothing to Maria, but when Christopher saw me with my luggage, he began to cry.
"Why are you leaving, Dad?" he asked plaintively.
I held him in my arms and I kissed him affectionately. "I'll see you soon. Don't worry. I love you very much and I always will. I promise I won't forget you and please don't forget me." Tears were rolling down my face, but I smiled at Christopher and I walked away, out of Helen's life forever.
On the way down the hill, I smiled as I thought I would never see this hill again. I was so happy about that and would I miss it? Not one little bit!
I booked a flight home to England and phoned my mother to tell her I was going home. I wasn't sure how she would react, but when I heard her voice, I knew she was relieved. "I'm happy about that," she told me. "I'll be glad when you are home."
I was full of guilt when I said, "I'm sorry about the way I treated you and Jack, Mum. I thought I needed to give Christopher the chance of having me around while he was growing up. I soon realised it was Helen's way of getting me to drop the charges. I don't think she, Maria, or Vangelis had any other reason to have me under their roof. I'm so sorry I hurt you."
"I understand now, love," she told me, "but I was shocked when you didn't get on that plane with us; all in the past now, eh? Just be careful and come home safely."
At the risk of repeating myself, I cannot emphasise enough that my mother was my rock. I loved and admired her more than words could ever say. She had so much strength and love to give and she carried me through all the bad times. She was one very special lady in my life.
For once, I was happy when I arrived at the airport. I felt strong and not at odds with the world as I had previously. I had walked out of Helen's life forever and I was determined to have Christopher home soon - just the two us. I looked down from the plane onto the Greek landscape. I smiled and told myself, "I will not be coming back." Soon Christopher would be home with me. I was happy for the first time in ages.