Miserably Delightful

chapter 16

I stared at my phone, contemplating if I was making the right decision. He had told me that whenever I needed someone to talk to, that he would be there for me. I hoped that still remained true; my head was a mess and I needed someone to help me clear it out. We weren't exactly close, but he had always been there for me when I needed it. Hopefully, this time would be no different.

Continued to stare at my lit up phone screen, chewing my bottom lip. I toyed with the key chains on my key ring, the keys still jammed in the ignition, but my car sitting in idle. After I had left North's trailer that morning, I had felt dizzied and confused. I didn't want to return to Nathan's feeling like that, and in an attempt to clear my mind, I went for a drive, ending up at the edge of town. I looked up briefly to admire the ocean; I had found a parking lot near the beach and I had seized the chance.

My phone vibrated and I started so badly, that I nearly dropped it. I gripped it tightly, a smile overcoming my face. He had actually responded; relief washed over me. We weren't that close, but I could rely on him, and that was something I enjoyed greatly.

Mr. Blackbourne: Would you like to meetup to talk or will speaking over the phone suffice?

I thought over his question, wondering if talking over the phone would be enough for what I needed to discuss with him. I shook my head, quickly deciding that something so serious should be discussed in person. I told him as much, and he gave me the address to a cafe for me to meet him at. I smiled slightly, having the sudden urge to give Owen Blackbourne a big hug. The hug would have to wait for later, I decided. Taking a deep breath, I drove myself to the cafe, mentally preparing myself for the conversation I was about to have.

I was surprised by the fact that Owen was already there, sitting at a table in the back, looking as perfect as ever. I wondered if he was able to roll out of bed and just look that nice, because sometimes it seemed completely plausible. I hesitated in the doorway of the cafe, but then gave myself a mental kick in the ass and walked into the back, taking the seat across from Owen.  I resisted the urge to squirm and show my anxiety.

"How are you?" Owen asked, tilting his head, studying me behind his glasses. My anxiety betrayed me, and I squirmed in my seat, averting my gaze. It was hard to make eye contact with him for me; he always unnerved me by the way he looked at me. The way his steel eyes bore into me made me want to spill every secret that was hidden in the crevices of my tiny body.

"I'm fine," I replied, though it felt like a lie, because even though I wanted to feel fine, I didn't. His eyebrows shot up at my answer, and I nearly let out an exasperated sigh. For the past month, every time he wanted me to spill something, he would just stare at me. Wait me out. Most times it had me running away, only to return later and tell him what he wanted, but I still hated it. I ground my teeth together. "Fine. I have a predicament."

"A predicament?" He repeated, curiosity passing over his face before falling back to his normal stoic expression. I wondered how much work it took to pretend like you were unbothered by everything, because I knew it was an act. I hadn't known Owen long, but I had known him long enough to notice.

"Yes, a predicament," I quietly confirmed, slumping in my seat slightly. It was just then I was realizing how exhausted I was, because it was truly exhausting to constantly have a new problem to deal with each day. I could use a year long vacation that mostly consisted of naps and maybe even some cuddling. "That's why I needed to speak to you."

"I figured," Owen nodded, studying me closely. I knew that he was probably able to tell just how tired I was, but I was mostly beyond caring at that point. "Would you like to get something to eat or drink before we begin?"

I shook my head, briefly contemplating resting my head on the table and if he would consider it rude. I resisted the urge and sat up straighter. "I'm fine. I think it would be best to just start discussing this."