Moving On But Missing You- SsoHD or ImmortalPKC

I can't be myself

Aleks PoV:

I fall asleep after crying for hours on end. I know that Seamus is curled up with Kevin, and they're perfectly intwined. I remember what Seamus said though. To be myself with Steven. And I can... I have to be. For Seamus.

My flight leaves at 3 pm, and I say goodbye to everyone, I even gave an awkward hug to Seamus. One that he pulled away from almost seconds after I touched him. He kisses back yesterday. It's not my fault. Is it?

When I get back home Steven meets me and kisses me passionately.

"Hey baby" I say, smiling at him. We've never done nicknames before. This is me. He seems kind of thrown off but nods.

*Time Skip A Few Weeks*

I've been showing my real side to Steven, and he seems... He seems pissed all the time. This is my fault. This is all my fault. Why did I do this? Why can't I just learn from my mistakes?

I come home from buying a new game and smile sweetly at Steven and he rolls his eyes. My smile quickly disappears and I cast my eyes downward.

"Did you talk to Seamus last night?"

"W-what? N-no." I say, looking down at my feet. He smacks my head, causing it to jerk painfully to the side.

"Look at me!" He screams.

"I didn't! I swear Steven." He slaps me across the jaw and grabs my wrist painfully, pulling me to him. Our chests brush together and he holds me so roughly I think I might have bruises.

"You're lying. And you know what happen to people who lie." He says, shoving me closer to him so I'm basically in my lap. I don't like this, I don't want this.

I deserve this.

Aleks PoV: *after another few months*

"S-Steven, can I go to c-Colorado to visit my friends?" I ask quietly, my head down. Steven smirks and pulls me against him, his hands roaming, causing my heart to fall into my stomach, in a really bad way.

"Yes. But if I hear about anything with Seamus....... You'll get it worse. I won't be nice." Steven says, shoving me away so hard I fall to the ground.

"Now get out, you disgust me." He says glaring at me.

"Y-yes S-Steven." I say, running out of the room to pack.

I leave a few days later, wearing a sweatshirt and pants long enough to cover the bruises. Luckily, for the last few weeks, he hasn't touched my face. Mostly my chest is what he punches and kicks. He's nice enough to avoid too painful spots, like last week he purposefully avoided my stomach. He kicked my rib cage instead, but it's the thought that counts. I guess. James picks me up with Eddie and they hug me tightly, and I stifle the groan that came from the hot fire of pain spreading throughout my abdomen.

We get to the office soon enough, and I get to see my friends again! It's like the lat few months never happen, other than the reminder I get each time I breathe, or walk. Even Seamus hugs me, and doesn't pull away too early. Maybe we can be friends.

Late into the night, after everyone went home, I let myself cry from the pain. I can't move correctly. My sobs are loud, deafening, and I'm glad everyone is gone. Or so I thought. The door opens slowly to a figure, who gets one glance at me huddled in the fetal position in the corner and sprints to me. He hugs me. It hurts.

"Aleks? Aleks! What's wrong?" The man says

"P-please. D-don't h-hurt me!" I say, curling up tighter. More pain.

"Aleks! It's Seamus. Why would I hurt you?"

"I... It hurts."

"What hurts?"

"My chest. It hurts so bad." I say, Seamus turns on the lights and it makes my eyes ache so I close them. Seamus takes my shirt off and sees the bruises. I haven't looked at myself in ages. I can't. I'm repulsive. I want to cover up. Seamus is goin to hurt me, it hurts more with bare skin."

"Aleks, we have to get you to the hospital. Is Steven doing this to you?"

"N-no."

"Aleks don't lie to me." Seamus says. And suddenly that sentence reminds me o the worst beating I've gotten. When Steven thinks I'm lying.

"No. Nononononononononono I'm sorry! Please! Don't hurt me! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lie! I'm sorry!" I yell, covering my face. Seamus lifts me up and runs to the car. The pain is blinding. My eyes begin to close.

"Aleks! Aleks, stay with me! I love you, Aleks! Aleks stay with me! I love you. I love you, I do! You don't deserve this. Aleks please, I can't lose you. I love you."

That's the last thing I remember.

Seamus saying

I love you

A/N I'm broken. I'm broken. I'm seriously broken. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED OR RAPED ITS TERRIBLE AND CRUEL AND NO ONE DESERVES THAT! Poor poor poor Aleks.

I'm so mean. Huehuehue.