Nora

Chapter 19: Let Me Give You A Fairy Tale

Sometimes I think that I'm unlucky. 

I mean I'm sure anyone who knows me or knew me thinks I'm unlucky but they're wrong and I'm wrong. 

Cancer is like rain. Sometimes it's just a drizzle and its over in no time leaving you only a little damp. Sometimes it's a little heavier and lasts a little longer and leaves you a little wetter but its okay because its over now and it made you stronger and you've got plenty of time to dry off. But sometimes it lasts for a long time, it develops into a flood and drenches you from head to toe and everyone around you. It's so strong, so intense that you cannot escape. It lasts to long and it saturates every single little piece of you. Until there is nothing left but a damaged, lifeless piece of nothing. It destroys you and in its wake leaves the ones you love to wring you out to dry. 

But floods bring people together and sometimes miracles come out of disasters.

Nora is my miracle brought to me by my flood of cancer. 

So that's why I refuse to believe that I'm unlucky. From this point on I am the luckiest person to ever live. Yes I don't have an eternity to do the things I want to and yes my life will be short but that doesn't mean it won't be a full one. 

I have the opportunity to love and cherish the most wonderful person. I have the opportunity to laugh and breath and live. 

Because lets face it I was never living. I was surviving and there is a big difference between the two. 

I just wanted to get to the next level thinking it'd be better than the last. I thought that as long as I survived high school I could have the rest of my life to be myself and to be happy. But I was a fool a god damn fool.

Every stage of this life is the same. People don't change after high school they just get older. 

But that's in the past. The Riley who made lists about how to achieve popularity and dated a girl he despised because he thought it would stop people from being suspicious of the fact that he never really did fit the popular boy stereotype too well is gone. He is no more. 

And that's thanks to the cancer and Nora. 

Two vastly different things. One is dangerous and hated and the other is wild and dazzling.

But right now, as I sit here with the more desirable of the two in a tiny car with my hands on her waist and my forehead pressed against hers gasping for breath, cancer is the last thing on my mind. 

All I can think about is her.

Beautiful, magnificent, undescribable Nora.

I feel her frown against my forehead. "Riley what are you thinking about?"

"You."

I open my eyes and pull away from her face.

"I think we should probably head home now." Nora says clearing her throat.

We've been kissing for at least a half hour and my lips are a little sore. I've never made out with a girl for half an hour so I'm a little inexperienced. Nora however seems to be a pro. So I pretended to be a pro as well. I said I've started living not that I've stopped lying.

"I think that would be a good idea." I say.

Nora sits back in her seat and stretches her back. Good, so I'm not the only one who's back hurts after sitting like that for longer than five minutes. 

"We should probably also talk about what umm all this means." She says sneaking a look at me.

Please please let it mean the same thing it means to me as it does to you. Please don't want to just have some sort of kissing friendship. I want more than that. I mean it's not like if that's all she wants I'd deny her or myself that. It's definitely progress but it's not the same as dating her.