i tried. i tried my best. but maybe its best i stop trying. maybe its best i close my eyes and just wish i was dying. because i tried. but i'm tired of trying. im tired of saying im fine when im crying. because im lying.
im fine,
dont worry,
im ok.
are words i speak everyday but every night i rest my head. i cradle myself wishing that i was dead yet instead, i feel like i already am. i already tried and tried ad now im tired of trying. im ready to be so tired i'd fall asleep and never wake up. even though im trying im not trying hard enough. i say im strong i say im tough my eyes tear up my nights get rough my room is cold my body feels like glue. feels as worthless as the dirt under your shoe.
but you see that dirt.
the soil
the dead leaves. crunching against your sole. you brush it off. back onto the ground where it belonged.
- june 26, 2017
