IN TOO DEEP│minizerk

11

a/n: chapter's a bit cringe, js

I couldn't breathe from how hard I was laughing. I bent my upper body over my lap, shouting at Simon to stop. He wasn't even talking anymore, he was laughing as much as I was.

While the moment was in play, I basked in his laugh, which made my heart smile.

Soon we calmed down and continued to watch our movie. I warned him to hold back his jokes about the main actor, who "had a knob for a nose" and many other ridiculous object-like features.

"Thank God that's over," Simon muttered as the credits began to roll.

"Shut up," I chuckle as I smack a pillow at his chest. He looks at me daringly, reaching for a pillow himself. "Simon, don't," I plea.

"I don't have to listen to you, Joshua," he retorts, his pillow slamming into my face.

"Let's not be cringe, please," I giggle as I take his pillow and set on top of mine on the floor.

"It's not cringe, it's cute," he chuckles. I roll my eyes and give him a shove backward. He continues to giggle, sitting back up so he could push me harder.

"Oh goodness fuck," I chuckle, staying still as I am now laying on the couch in an awkward yet somewhat comfortable position. Simon giggled, pulling me upright. He moved his hand's strong grip from my wrist and wrapped his arm around my neck all in one swift move. "Smooth," I tease as I glance at him. He smiles with pride, then removes his gaze on me and aims it toward the television. My stare kept it's hold, breathing in all of the beautiful features on this man's face.

++++

It was a couple weeks since Simon and I last hung out. Every time I sat on my couch, my mind would play the memories I've had with him until I sobbed myself to sleep.

But this time, I was unable to reach my final stage as my phone let me know I had just received a message.

Conversation With — Miniminter

hey joshua!

hi simon

what are you doing right now?

I wiped the tears from my eyes and read the message over a few more times.

Conversation With — Miniminter

josh??

sorry, i got distracted. but anyway, i'm up to nothing atm. what's up?

the sky ;)

you're such a dork

i know

anyway

can you come over and help me with something?

like what, exactly ??

i need help deciding what to wear for tonight

oh yeah. you've got a hot date tonight right?

yup :)

if you could help me out i'd love you forever!

My heart fell, tears stinging my eyes again.

Conversation With — Miniminter

i'm omw

yayy thank youuu

anytime :)

I dried my eyes one last time, threw on a sweatshirt, then walked out to my car. I started the engine, sighing as I picked a sad song to play on my way over to Simon's, and headed toward my destination.

++++

"I just have no fucking idea what to wear!" Simon exclaimed as he slammed a few of his shirts onto the ground carelessly. I stepped over to him, picking his tops off the floor and placing them back in his drawer as he paced behind me. "I need to impress, man!" he shrieked as he fell onto his bed.

I took a deep breath, sitting beside him. But not too close, as to not set off my emotions- and to also keep my face hidden from his eyes so I wouldn't alert him of my sorrow.

"He won't care what you're wearing, Simon. Your personality is the only thing that matters," I remind him, training my eyes on the carpet below me as I picked at the flesh on my hands.

"But my personality is shit," he huffs, flopping onto his back.

"No it isn't," I lightly chuckle. He quickly stood up, walking toward to his closet. Mustn't have heard me. "You're going insane over a date, Si." My breath hitched in my throat as I said his nickname aloud. I only called him that through our texts occasionally. Never with my voice, just my thumbs.

"I just don't want to be single for the rest of my life," he grumbles as he flicks through his wardrobe for the billionth time.

"You won't be," I reply.

"Probably will be," he scoffs. "I'm gay, it's hard to find other gays."

I sighed again, adjusting my hood so it covered my eyes again. I stood slowly, taking my time to make my way over to his closet. I grabbed his frantic hands, set them by his sides, and look through his clothes myself. I pick out a white, long sleeve button up and some jeans. Simon sighs, thanking me. When I bring him the shoes to match his outfit, he grabs my lower arms to settle me in my spot.

He takes the shoes from me and sets them aside, then comes back to me. He brushes off my hood, pain striking his face as he notices my puffy eyes and lips paired with a blotchy face.

"What's wrong, Josh?" he asks me. I remove my arms from his grip quite harshly and cover myself again. I sigh, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my jeans.

"I'm gonna go," I mumble, rushing off. I run to my car, tears slipping down my cheeks once more. I fling open the door to my car and slide inside, but stop my rush as I realize I forgot my keys on his kitchen counter.

There was a soft knock on my window, my head turning to look at the person. His eyes were fading into a darker shade as I rolled down the window. I thanked Simon for bringing me my keys and roll the window back up.

"I'm always available to talk," he shouts loud enough just so I can hear. I nod with my lips pressed together to help suppress the tears, my fingers shaking as I turn the key to start my car.

As I drove off, I glanced quickly in the rear view mirror, my eyes catching a downcast Simon standing at the end of his driveway, his hands resting in the pocket of his Adidas track pants. I felt my stomach shrivel, and I gulp down the butterflies that were still there from when he touched my forearms with a gentle grasp.

Man, was I in deep.