Black Ink || Harlena a.u.

35.

"So you've never seen any romantic movies?"

"Nope. I prefer the typical action ones," he shrugged.

"I mean, yeah, but The Fault in Our Stars really brought it home."

Harry took a bite out of his burger before sitting back and squinting his eyes in thought.

"Sounds cheesy," he grinned. "Shakespeare line from Romeo and Juliet- who dies?" He joked, but he had no idea how right he was, damn it.

I shook my head at him while dipping my fry in the small paper cup filled with ketchup, "It should be turned into a fucking classic."

The door to the diner opened and closed as yet another customer left. Soon, we'd be the only ones left sitting in the small booth next to the window that looked out into the busy street and bright lights.

"Harry?"

He chewed down the last of his burger before nodding his head.

"I don't know where this is going, but if I don't say it now I won't be able to later," I began. He waited for me to continue. I sighed as I set my other fry down, "One day we're- you know, and then the next it's like we're total strangers. It's not like I'm asking anything from you or expect you to say the right thing... but I would really like it if you just told me what exactly it is you want from me."

He stared at me for a few seconds before looking down at the empty plate in front of him and frowning at the endless possibilities to my question.

Although I wasn't lying when I said I didn't expect something great, deep down, a small part of me sort of hoped he would say something I wanted to hear.

"Umm, well-" he cleared his throat, sitting up so that his clenched fist pressed against his lips. Then his hands rubbed against one another before finally folding ontop of the table. "Here's what I know for certain-" he gave me a pointed look as he swallowed.

I sat up straight, slightly inching forward towards him.

"I know that it bothers me thinking about you with someone else-" he shook the thought away. "Actually, it pisses me off. It's like, I want to have you, but I know that I can't because after Jane, she-" he frowned at the bittersweetness. "I really loved her and I don't- I don't want to have you because if I fuck it up, then I fuck it up, no second chances with this and there's no going back."

He ran his hand down his face.

"It's selfish- so fucking selfish. But I can't ask you to wait for me until I'm ready to date like that again. It's unfair and you deserve so much more, but then I think about someone else touching you and- fuck, Selene. Fuck that."

I stared at the frustration that bubbled from him. He didn't look me in the eye even after he stopped talking, but when I shifted in my seat, he slowly and carefully looked up at me.

"I didn't mean to fall for you," he murmured.

My mouth parted in shock.

"But I did... And I know that the more I try to stop it, the more I want it," he shrugged with a lazy smile. "But you can't blame me for that now, can you?"

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A/N: sorry for the lack of updates! Senior year suucckkks