Black Ink || Harlena a.u.

23.

I looked at the empty pillow beside me, but it was the thought of the person who should be occupying it that made my pulse race.

Harry had seemed more distant than anything after dropping me off last night. I had paid no mind to it then because I was still struggling to come down from the high. But now, as I lie in bed collecting the pieces I let go of last night, a sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach.

How low had I stooped? I had been Harry's rebound. 

The thought felt funny at first, mostly because I hadn't been one before, but now it made me feel kind of ashamed. Even though Harry had literally been the one to pull me into the situation- with my full consent of course; I wasn't even tipsy. He was vulnerable and I gave myself into the moment instead of just talking to him. 

Wow. Nice going, Selene. You had sex with a heartbreak-ee. 

I shook my head at myself. There was no denying that he had enjoyed it just as much as I had. Although the thought that I didn't remember him telling me that he'd text me sometime, only confirmed that this was definitely a one night- rebound- stand,

Now I felt ridiculous, making up words in my head, causing me to overthink. Which had been the complete opposite of last night. The thought of Harry's hands on me made me squeeze my legs, trying in a vain attempt to surpass the feeling of need-  I did not want start up the ache he had relieved. 

Instead, I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and checked to see if I had any sign of Anne. She had texted me sometime in the A.M. telling me that Liam was picking her up. She sent a bunch of winky faces, so I could only assume what they would be up to.

I scrolled down to see that I had 13 messages on Tinder. All from Harry; he sent them three hours ago. I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to risk getting a goodbye in hopes for a hello. But I still clicked.

Harry: Hey, listen

Last night... well I don't regret it in the least

But I feel like I should apologize to you

I don't want you to think that I used you for my own benefit

Although I can't be a coward and lie and say that it wasn't the initial plan

I wanted to get even with someone that honestly couldn't give a fuck about me anymore

But I fucked up and ended up losing myself in you

I don't mean to sound like a total girl

I probably still haven't processed the liquor out my system 

So I'll blame it on that to spare myself from complete embarrassment of what I want to say

Last night... you felt right

And I don't expect anything from it, I promise

But I want you to know that I don't think of you as anything different than the girl that walked into my tattoo shop after it was closed and ironically left a bigger mark on me than the one I left on you