Always Doesn't Mean Forever: Book 3(Severus Snape/student)

Chapter 14: Sleeping With The Enemy

Severus was never going to forgive me. I didn't blame him. I wouldn't either. But I at least had to try to talk to him. It was late now. A quarter passed midnight. I wasn't allowed to leave the mansion, but I couldn't sit here and not do anything. Slowly I made my way out of thee door and walked into the hallway. I had to be completely silent. I tiptoed down the stairs and I was almost out of the doors before I heard someone whisper my name. I turned back to see Deverose standing there in the dark. "Deverose please be quiet."

"Alex don't go." He pleaded.

"I have to." he walked toward me and stood directly in front of me.

"No you don't."

"I love him." I turned to walk away and Deverose pulled me back into him and crashed his lips against mine. Once again he held me tight enough to keep me from moving. It made me so mad when he kissed me, but once he did it was too late. It reminded me of how Severus used to kiss me. It felt safe. Severus never felt safe anymore.

"I know you feel that." He pulled back and leaned his forehead against mine. "I know you feel it Alex. I know you could love me. I know I'm better for you." I shook my head and looked down.

"Let me go." He looked down into my eyes and nodded lightly.

"Fine." he stepped back and started to walk away.

"Please don't tell anyone I'm leaving."

"I may be a monster, but I'm not evil, Alex." With that he made his way up the steps and disappeared. I made my way out of the door and then apparated to the gates of Hogwarts. I quickly made my way to the giant gray stone in the forest. Severus had showed me how to open it the last time we came here. I ran my wand across the top of the stone and it slowly disappeared until there was just a whole. I really hope he isn't sleeping. I made my way into the hall and my fall began. After a few moments I hit Severus' bed with a thud. I picked myself up and looked around. Severus wasn't in his room. I quickly walked into the hall and in the living room. Severus was sitting in front of the fire with a bottle of Fire whiskey in his hand. Almost entirely gone.

"Severus.." He didn't move.

"Leave." He said quietly.

"Severus, please-"

"Get out!"

"No! talk to me!"

"There is nothing to talk about."

"Severus I never meant-" He cut me off and stood up quickly.

"I don't care what you meant. I don't. It could have been anyone on this planet but him and I would have been okay, but it was him!"

"I know. I'm so sorry, Severus. He kissed me an I tried to push him back, but he held me too tight...but I'm not going to lie to you. I kissed him back."

"I know and you can leave?"

"Why is he so significant Severus? Why is it him that you absolutely can't ever get past?"

"That doesn't matter."

"Oh, are you afraid to tell me it's because of Lily?" Severus inhaled a sharp breath and looked furious.

"Get. Out. Now. I don't want to see you again. You bring me nothing but pain. Leave Alex. I won't tell you again."

"Sev.."

"Out!" I looked at him for a few moment and then nodded.

"Okay, goodbye Severus." I quickly walked out into the hall and made my way through the school quietly. I got the the doors and walked quickly. I made my way to the gates and then apparated. I ran up the stairs at the manor and to my room. Tears streamed down my face as I shut my door and leaned against it. I felt a small knock behind.

"Alex, are you okay?" It was Deverose.

"Go away!" I screamed through the sobs.

"Alex? Whats wrong? Let me in."

"Go away Deverose!"

"I'm coming in. Move away from the door." I stayed put until he started counting. I moved at two and on three Deverose kicked my door open. "Are you okay?" He looked me over.

"I'm fine. Or i was until you busted down my door."

"I'm sorry. I thought you were hurt... I'll fix it. You've been crying. Did things not go well?"

"What do you think?" I spat as another sob slipped out. I hated crying in front of people. Especially Deverose, but I couldn't make it stop. He quickly said a spell to put my door on the hinges again.

"Alex.." He slowly walked toward me and wrapped me in a hug. I didn't fight him. I didn't move. I just stood there. Tears streaming down my face. His embrace was warm and welcoming. After a while i relaxed in to him and laid my head on his chest. "Come on." He led me over to the bed and laid down, pulling me down beside him. He wrapped me back up tightly and held me close. "Everything is going to be okay. He didn't deserve you, Alex. He is a hateful man."

"Don't talk about him like that. Don't talk about him at all."

"I'm sorry.. I won't." He sat quietly for a long time lightly rubbing my back. "What can I do? Tell me what I can do to help." I looked up at Deverose and into his eyes. They were riddled with concern and sympathy. I shook my head and laid my head back down. Deverose planted a small kiss on my forehead and then one on my neck that sent a tremble down my spine. He felt the small shake and I could feel his lips smile lightly against my skin. I looked up at him again and he pulled back. "I'm sorry. I'll st-" Before he could finish I crashed my lips to his. Deverose moved back in shock before kissing me back hard. I kept pulling him closer. As Deverose got on top of me and started kissing down my neck I let out small moans.

"Let me make one thing clear." I said pushing him up by his shoulder. "I don't want you. I want a distraction." Deverose smirked and kissed me hard again.

"I can be your distraction." He said as he lifted my shirt above my head and kissed down my body to my jeans. " Just relax, darling." He said with a smile.

Deverose was an amazing distraction. For a while. He laid sprawled out next to me on his stomach and me on mine. He was tracing patterns down my back for a long time. "Do you want to try an sleep?" He asked softly. I laughed a little and turned to him.

"The love of my life caught me kissing the guy he hates with all of his heart. He was going to propose, but now he tells me he never wants to see me again and i bring him nothing but pain. Then i slept with the guy that he hates. I don't think I'll be sleeping for a while Deverose."

"Fair enough...do you want me to go? Or should I stay?" I sighed and looked over to him.

"You can stay, but only for tonight. That's mostly because I don't want to be left alone."

"I'll take it." Deverose pulled me back into him and rested his head on mine. He was asleep quickly. I on the other hand never found sleep. Instead I found myself thinking about what Severus was doing. Every time I thought about him I felt a dull pain in my chest. What now?

*****************************************************************************************

The song is to remind you guys that even though Alex did some thing kind of awful, she's only human. Don't lose faith in her yet.