My dear loser: InSun's Playlist

Track 4: Don't cry

In didn't attend the afternoon class. I'm still scared and confused on what happened. I don't understand it.

"Are you okay?" Nam asked, who was sitting in In's seat.

I just nodded and smiled but I know that Nam knows that I am not fine.

Oh was also worried about me while I worry about In. I don't know what to do. Will every thing that we had turn to nothing? I thought we had a chance, but why did he do that? Is he back in Copper's gang?

The thought didn't leave my mind until the end of our class. It kills me not seeing In, but it kills me more inside seeing In back to being a bully.

"Wanna go watch movie?" Oh asked when we were preparing to go home.

"Sure! I'll text In!" Nam exclaimed.

The three of us looked at Nam, it's as if she wasn't in the canteen when the trouble happened this lunch time.

"I'm still hoping that it didn't happen." She said, exhaling.

"Hey. Let's not worry about In okay?" I started, "the world will still rotate as it is even without him. Let's go, let's go!" I walked away from them, asking them to follow. I'll try to be fine. I know it won't be that easy, but I'll try to give In the benefit of the doubt, and besides, In and I made a vow to not leave each other, and I still cling to that promise that we've made.

---

"What should we watch?" Peach asked as we walked on the way to the cinema.

"Anything." I answered.

"In didn't respond." It was evident in Nam's voice the trace of disappointment.

"Miss him Nam?" I teased her.

"No. I won't take him from you Sun, don't worry."

We both laughed about the thought of it.

While choosing on what to watch, a loud voice disturbed everyone in the area.

"So, it's a double date between an idol and a mushroom, and a girl and a gay. Hey! None matched at all!" It was Copper's voice.

The five of them walked toward us, Copper leading them and he went straight to Peach.

"Peach, wanna go watch movie with me?"

Oh suddenly blocked Peach from him.

"Get away from us Copper, or else" Oh was already clenching his fist, ready to strike any moment.

"Or else what?" Copper even put his eyes nearer to Oh's.

It was like the two were already about to clash if not for Peach who encased Oh's fist with her two hands and mouthed no.

Copper saw it, and Oh knew that Copper saw it. That ended it. Oh won, but Copper just won't stop. He went after Ainam next.

"Hey Nam. Thanks for inviting my dear friend In for movie. But I was so heartbroken that you only invited him and not all of us." Copper acted to be sad, "so here we are, all of us to join you watch"

As if on cue, his whole gang went closer to us, including In. In still couldn't look me in the eye. He kept on looking at Copper, like a puppy waiting for his master's command.

I miss his voice. I miss his smile. I miss him. I miss my friend In.

"I don't have any stomache to stay in the same room with this reeking animals anymore." Nam eyed Copper. It's my first time seeing Nam that angry, then she adjusted her eyes to In. "I thought you're no longer like them, but I was wrong. Once a bully, always a bully." Nam walked away and we followed her.

I was the last of us walking right in the middle of Copper's gang. It's like a dejavu. It happened before: me taking a step slowly in front of In while his friends were at my back. The only difference is that before, my eyes and In's eyes were looking at each other, but now, he looks down, to the floor.

It breaks my heart that In doesn't look at me anymore. I don't know what to think. I can smell his perfume. I can smell him. I hate it that the once lovely thing that I loved about him is now one of the things that reminds me of him that makes my heart break. I don't know this In anymore. I want to have the In that I love. I want to have him back.

---

As I lay on my bed that night, I tried to figure things out. I tried to decipher In's last words before he turned back to Copper, but it only makes me cry.

Just last night, at this hour, we were exhanging our goodnights, but now, even a single text from him is like an impossible thing to have.

The thoughts were killing me until I fall asleep with my tears falling.

---
I thought when I woke up, the pain will cease, but it's still there. The sun's high already. I don't wanna go to school but I have to.

I took a bath and ate and prepared myself.

When I'm about to go, I realized that I wasn't wearing a watch, so I wore the watch that In and I have of the same type. The thoughts are killing me again. I exhaled and willed my tears to stop.

I took my phone and there I saw a message from the one I miss the most.

From: In
Message: Don't cry. Please.
Time: 2:08 am