My dear loser: InSun's Playlist

Track 21: The End

"I have never liked you." In said, looking at me in the eyes with a face that has no expression.

I could hear Nam gasp, I heard Oh standing from his seat. Miss Kraimin went back to her phone. My eyes were still on In, seeing his mouth move. He was whispering something, but I couldn't understand it.

My mind was blank for a whole minute.

Then I limped back away from In, focusing on how to stand straight.

I let my tears fall as I ran out of the room.

Why now In? Why now that I've completely loved you? Why now when I'm about to say 'Yes'?

I ran outside the room, and In followed me.

Miss Kraimin called after In, but I still heard his steps on my back.

"Sun!" In grabbed for my hand, but I slapped it away.

"STOP! DON'T TALK ANYMORE! STOP PLAYING WITH ME!" I cried, "STOP IN!" I faced him while my tears kept on flowing.

"Sun!" He begged, his tears started to fall too.

"STOP CALLING MY NAME! STOP IN! I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOUR EXCUSES AGAIN!"

"But-" he reached for both of my hands, but I pulled mine back.

"I thought you like me. I thought you like me!" I shouted over my cries, "Stop talking to me! Stop! Just Stop! I don't wanna hear you talk to me again! I don't want to see you again! Leave me In and don't come near me again!"

"Just let me--" In tried to hug me but I pushed him away.

"Enough!" I shouted, "All those memories, all those chances that I gave you. Your sweet words. Your caring actions, and then you told them that you don't like me! I'm done with you already. I hate you! Don't you dare talk with your nonsense excuses again! If you wanna play with me, then congratulations! You have always wanted to see me cry right? Are you happy now In?! Now stop it! You already got what you want. Stop it now!"

"Sun." In started to kneel on his knees.

"I told you to Stop!" I shouted, not understanding his actions. I'm really confused now.

I began to run away, leaving him there kneeling.

I ran away from In as he cried, and that was the last time that I saw In. That was the last time that I've heard of his voice.

I didn't attend the remaining classes anymore. I just went on running until my feet started to sore. I wanted to escape from In. I tried forgetting all of what just happened.

I came back home by seven in the evening after drying all of my tears, but when I thought that my tears won't fall anymore, I again cried just before my aunt started her litany.

In the end, she told me that she has prepared the dinner in the kitchen and that was where I went to.

I just looked at the food, remembering how I taught In on how to cook.

I picked the fork and ate a piece of the veggie, but it clogged in my throat, making me cough and cry once more.

Surrendering from my emotions, I cried again. I couldn't stop thinking of In.

I pushed my plate away.