My dear loser: InSun's Playlist

Track 10: See you again

The sun shone bright the following morning. It felt warm and gave me the feeling of contentment. I have finally cried all of the tears for In last night. That's enough.

I went to school with a smile on my face. I unexpectedly rode the bus with Oh and Peach and together, we went to our school. A lovely day it was. They both looked surprise when they saw me laughing hard and was really overjoyed by small and petty things.

"Do you remember how they bullied you Oh?!" I laughed.

"Yeah! And it was humiliating!" Oh snapped.

"Hey Sun. You weren't here yet when that happened right?" Peach contradicted.

"What?" I paused, "Oh right. I only saw Oh stripped by Copper! 5555555!" Then I laughed loudly again. The students that we've passed looked at us (mostly to me) for laughing loudly in the hallway towards our respective building

"You look happy." Said by a familiar voice.

It holds me to my track. I turned back to face the owner of the voice that I missed so much.

"P'Ken!" I exclaimed.

P'Ken was wearing his new uniform--a white long sleeves and black pants.

"Why are you here?" I asked him happily.

"I need to get files from my former club."

"Oh." I smiled again, still surprised that P'Ken's here.

"Sawatdee P'Ken." Oh and Peach greeted P'Ken.

"Sawatdee Peach Sawatdee Oh."

"Dangnan rea ca pi k'n(So, we'll go first)" Oh excused and of both of them went inside, leaving me with P'Ken.

"It's still early. Wanna go eat first?" P'Ken offered.

"But I just ate P." I said.

"Oooy. You dare decline your senior?"

"I'm now a senior also P!"

"Hey Hey! I was your senior last year and I command you to come with me!"

"Huh?"

"Come on Sun. It's on me"

"okay okay. I'll follow my senior!" I said with sarcasm.

P'Ken brought me to a cafe outside the school right after. He ordered some pasta for me.

It's weird. This pasta reminds me of In. How In despised spicy foods and how I ordered something different for him. But I don't miss him. Yeah, I don't.

"What's with the sad face?" P'Ken asked when he noticed that I'm giving him a gloomy mood, "Don't you like what I ordered? Wait, let me order another." He raised his hand to call the waiter's attention, but I pushed it down before he can do so.

"No P'. I told you I just ate breakfast right? I don't think I can finish it all"

"Oh. That's okay. Right, one favor." He raised his fork and pointed it towards me,"Can you stop calling me P? It makes me conscious."

"What? Ah, I don't know P'. It makes me awkward not calling an old person P'".

"Hey! So I'm old huh?! Ken is enough. I'll hit you if you ever call me P' again Okay?"

"Okay P." and right away he flicked his fingers on my forehead which I touched right away. "Aw! It hurts! Okay, sorry P." and another flick I took. "How's college Ken?" I smiled and looked at him directly, confident that I wouldn't be having a hit anymore.

"It's okay Sun." P'Ken smiled back, "All these hazings are stressing me."

I nodded, not really understanding what he meant.

"How are you and In? Are you still together?" P'Ken asked when he noticed a two-minute silence between us.

I just stared at P'Ken. I don't know what to tell him for I don't know what's my stand in In's life anymore.

"You fought?" P'Ken added when an awkward silence was what answered him.

"I don't know P'. He was never mine and I was never his, and there will never be an us" Once again, he neared his fingers on my forehead. I closed my eyes, realized that I called him P.

"I'll give you that for once." P'Ken said when he noticed that I closed my eyes, ready for the flicking that I was about to have and lowered his hands. "What happened?" He said, getting back to his pasta.

"He just...changed."

P'Ken stopped eating. "So, do I have a chance now?" P'Ken joked.

I just looked at P'Ken. I know he likes me, but he's never really this open about it before.

"Hey I'm just kidding! Why so serious?" 

I smiled. "Ken, were you at school too the other day?" I asked, wondering about the guy who offered me handkerchief.

"No. I was in my University. Why?"

"Nothing." I answered. Yeah. It couldn't have been P'Ken. The one who offered me a hanky wears uniform, and P'Ken's college already.

"Let's go?" P'Ken said when he noticed me thinking deeply which I obliged.

"Let me help you with your bag."

"Huh?" 

"let me carry your bag for you.'

"No it's okay Ken."

"Okay." P'Ken said then together we walked back to my school.

P'Ken didn't talk the whole time that we walked back. He doesn't utter any single word at all. It's so not him. He only said goodbye when we reached our room.

"See you again next time?" He said smiling.

"Sawatdee P'Ken." Jean greeted him when she saw P'Ken.

"very popular huh?" I teased him.

"P'. Come inside. I'm sure everyone misses you." Jean asked him.

The three of us went inside and Jean suddenly shouted, "Show respect!"

All students rose and greeted P'Ken.

"Hey! Hey! I'm not your teacher!" P'Ken laughed. Everyone laughed.

"How are you P'?"

"Why are you here P'?"

"You visit your girlfriend P'?"

"Hey. One at a time." P'Ken stopped them, "I just...walked your classmate here, Sun." Everyone teased us. He looked at me, but what he saw was our homeroom teacher standing behind me  "Oh. Your teacher's here already." Then he walked towards me "I'll go now." 

I smiled at P'Ken and he went out of the room as I walked towards my seat. I wasn't expecting In to be sitting in his right seat, but there he was. 

It feels awkward, but I shouldn't be affected by him now. I don't want to cry a single tear for him anymore. 

He looked at me. I looked at him. 

He looked away. I looked away.