My dear loser: InSun's Playlist

Sidetrack 7: Come back my Love

“P-“ I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth, “P-Ken” I sobbed.

“Hey, it’s okay. He will be fine” In said in a gentle voice.

“In, P’Ken, he is-“ “Shhh. Let me take you home.”

“I don’t wanna see P’Pot.”

“No. I mean, let me take you to my home.”

---

It was so sudden. Everything happened so fast. We rode to In’s house. While still crying, I got aslept in his car that the next thing I know, the sun is already on its peak. It’s already noon time. I rubbed the tiredness from my eyes. I stood and reached for the door.

I’m at In’s house. It wasn’t the one that I’ve been before. The room that I was in was unmistakably In’s. His uniform was hanging on the open closet on the corner. A wide television set with sofas were on one side facing the bed. A computer can be seen on the right of me, while on my left was the door, but that’s not just it. Beside the door, a small table is set up. A single lamp shade was turned off, but that’s not what caught my attention, but of the picture frame showing In smiling. I can still see the matching necklace that he gave me. He was smiling so beautifully. I smiled too and touched the necklace on my neck. That’s not just it though, two kids were also smiling with In, one on each side.

They were two boys wearing the same red shirts. I took the picture frame and held it closer to me. I didn’t know what to feel. As far as I know, In didn’t have any sibling years ago, but the two kids are about two years old so it’s possible that they were born shortly after we parted ways. Are they In’s brothers? Because if they were, then they look so much like In. I reached for the door and opened it. The house is more magnificent than the house they had before. The walls are white lined with gold on the edge of the ceiling. A stairway going downstairs also look marvelous.

I heard laughter as I reached the bottom of the stairs. I looked for the source of it, leading me to the garden area where the two boys from the picture were at. A woman in white was also there, sitting in a chair. Her back was facing me so I couldn’t tell who it was.

“Sawatdee Khrap.” I started as I took the fresh ambiance of the garden.

The woman faced me and gave me a friendly smile.

“Sawatdee Sun.” In’s mom greeted me.

“Come, have a seat.” I slowly took the seat beside her, still watching for the two kids standing in front of In’s mom.

“It’s been so long huh, Sun.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry for the trouble that I have caused you.” I said.

“Trouble? No. It was us that caused you trouble. In fact, I should be thanking you.” She held the two kids in her lap. “If it’s not because of you, these two cuuuuuute kids won’t be here with us.” She said gladly.

“Congratulations maam.” I said and tapped the kid on the right gently, appreciating its cuteness as well. “I didn’t know In had brothers.” I said.

“Brothers? No, they’re not In’s brothers.” In’s maam said.

I suddenly stopped moving. I heard my heart pounding so fast. “They’re not?” I held back my hand from the kid’s head.

“No.” In’s mom repeated. “These twins.” She emphasized, “are In’s sons. They’re my grandchildren.”

---

I’m standing outside P’Ken’s apartment. I’ve been here for ten minutes now yet I couldn’t will myself to open the door. I couldn’t make it and see that P’Ken is not here. I should have went to the hospital and leave P’Pot here, but he needs to know too.

Finally, I moved my hand and made it to the door knob, when suddenly, the door opened.

P’Pot was wearing a jacket, his phone is in his hand. His hair was still in a mess and his eyes were bloody red. He didn’t have any sleep, I can see that. He rushed to me and held me in my shoulders.

“Sun? Where is Ken? Is he still angry with me? Please. I can’t call him. He’s not answering my Line messages. I’ve been texting him last night. I- I- wanted to…” but P’Ken started crying, and I know that it wasn’t the first time that he has cried since last night.

“P’. P’Ken is in the hospital.” My mouth went dry,” He got into an accident last night.”

“What?! Where?! What hospital? How is he? Is he fine now? Take me there. Please.”

“I don’t know yet P’. His mom was there last night when I left.”

“Take me there, please Sun.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea P’”

“P-Pplease Sun. I wanna see him. Please. I’m begging you!” P’Ken went down on his knees. “Please”

I drew a sigh and surrendered. I know how hurt P’Pot is and that he’s frustrated to see P’Ken.

P’Pot and I went to where P’Ken is charged. We went directly to the Emergency room but it’s already empty so we went to the assistance area and asked for P’Ken’s room.

“I’m sorry sir, but he was already transferred to another hospital as per the patient’s parents’ request.” The nurse said.

“What now?” I said to P’Pot.

“Let’s go to their house.”

So we drove for two hours towards P’Ken’s house.

Just like In’s, P’Ken’s house was so big. P’Pot rang the doorbell and we waited for at least five minutes before one of the maids went out.

“Pot?” She said.

“Sawatdee aunty Khep.”

“Sawatdee.” Then she opened the door.

“Do you know what hospital is Ken at?”

The maid’s face became sad, then a tear flowed from her eyes. “I’m sorry Pot, but Ken. Master Ken. He- He is already dead. He died last night”

“What?” I shouted. P’Pot was speechless. His eyes were blank.

“Where are his parents? Can I see them?”

“I’m sorry, but they’re not here right now. They’re doing the papers for Master Ken’s burial. It’s already dark. Come inside for now.” I don’t know what to say, but I accepted her offer.

With P’Pot, we went inside their house. The house was in a gloomy mood. On the living room was a picture of P’Ken with candles on the bottom of it and flowers.

“W- Where is Ken?” P’Pot said at last. His eyes were on P’Ken’s picture.

“I told you Pot. He is dead. He-“

“Where is Ken!” P’Pot shouted that it echoed throughout the dining room.

“I don’t believe you!” P’Pot reached for the maid’s shirt.

“Pot, I’m sorry. Ken is already dead.” The maid started crying.

“No! KEN. IS. NOT. DEAD!” P’Pot glared at the maid.

I pulled P’Pot back as he might start hitting the maid already, but as soon as I pulled him back, he went down to the floor. He punched the floor so hard continuously that his fists started to go red.

“You’re so unfair Ken! P’Pot shouted while still punching the floor. “I thought you’re angry with me huh?! Where are you now?! Come on! Punch me! Hit me! Get out of there!” P’Pot stood and went to the picture frame and held it on his face. “You’re so unfair! Get out of there! Don’t be a coward! Face me! I don’t care if you wanna break up with me! Just get out and face me! Just- Just- please, be alive!”

“I thought we’re going to graduate together? Didn’t you say we’re going to have a big house? I thought you said you’re not gonna give up on me huh? But you’re so unfair! You left me here! How can I graduate now when you’re not here anymore?! How can I graduate now when the one that I want to graduate with has left me?! Face me please! Get out of wherever you are and punch me! Please Hit me! Shout at me! I don’t care! Just please come back to me! I’m sorry. Please! Come back Ken. Come back my love.”