Thomgelica: Every letter

If you had to choose

Angelica's POV

The ball is tomorrow and I still didn't know what to do.

Did I love Thomas?

Did I love Alexander?

How much would I be willing to sacrifice for my happiness? How much would I sacrifice for Eliza's?

I was broken out of my thoughts by Eliza tapping me on the shoulder. I looked up from the book I'd been pretending to read for the last half hour, to see Eliza grinning and holding a letter with alexander's now familiar handwriting scrawled across it.

"What?" I asked.

"Alexander has asked me to go to that ball tomorrow, the one Thomas asked you to, I'm so excited!!"

"Yay, I can't wait." I smiled while mentally cursing her innocence.

The night seemed to fly, and before I knew it, I was laying awake in bed, scared to move in case the rags in my hair fell out, or at least, that's what I told myself.

It semed I had barely closed my eyes when my maid came in to my room and woke me up, then I read, or tried to.

My mind was racing.

Choose alexander!

Choose Thomas!

Choose neither!

Choose Eliza!

Choose Both!

Tell him how you feel!

Which him?

Him!!!

"Miss," said the Maid snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yes?"

"It's time to get ready Miss" she said, and I stood up.

The dress was a pale purple, the floaty sleeves stopping halfway down my arms and the skirt flowing to the floor, the hem covered in silver embroidery.

Eliza came in without knocking as the maid pinned my hair in place. Her dress matched mine, but in turquoise and gold, and her hair was loose, but a few strands were tied back in a golden clasp.

Any anxiety or anger or turmoil I felt melted as I saw her smiling at me.

I knew what I had to do.

"You look beautiful!" she said, taking my hand and helping me up as the maid finished placing metal flower headed pins into my bun.

 "You too." I told her as we walked down and out to the front porch.

Alexander arrived first, smiling awkwardly at me, but I didn't mind.

Or at least, I told myself I didn't.

When he looked at Eliza, he looked at her with such devotion. She deserved to be happy.

She deserved him.

Thomas arrived as they got into their carriage, he handed me a pink rose and I smiled at him as I put it into my bag.

When we got to the party, it had more people than I expected.

Silver and gold shone from every surface, making the room glitter in the flickering candlelight.

The rooms were crowded, and I could hardly hear the string quartet over the buzz in the room.

I couldn't see Alexander or Eliza, I assumed they were around somewhere.

Halfway through a dance with Thomas I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled away and ran to the balcony that overlooked the gardens of the house. I relished the contrasting feel f the wind on my burning skin, and tugging at my loosened curls, breathing deeply.

I was being an idiot.

I should go back inside and dance, maybe find Eliza and dance with her.

God, love is so illogical it makes me want to scream.

Wait... love-

"Angelica," said a voice from behind me, and for the second time that night, I knew what my decision should be.