Friends with Benefits

Chapter Twelve

Things I own: my sanity, not enough time to write and incredible friends and family!!

Things I don't: Twilight, Edward and Bella (Damn. It.)

Chapter Twelve

BPOV

"Isabella Marie, what did that salad ever do to you?" Jasper asked, sitting down across from me. "Be kind to the poor unsuspecting lettuce."

"Sorry," I grumbled. "Last night was a huge clusterfuck, Jas."

"Oh, do tell, Ms. Swan," he asked, waggling his brows. "I do enjoy hearing about clusterfucks."

"You're an idiot," I snickered, rolling my eyes. "Anyhow, last night, the ex..."

"Paul?"

"Yep. That's him," I said. "He came by to pick up his stuff that he left at my place. He tried, again, to pin his lost iPod on me but I didn't have it. Paul has the worst taste in music. Atonal, aleatoric crap. It's awful. Anyhow, Edward gets in Paul's face, about the iPod and Paul insinuates that Edward and I are sleeping with each other."

"You know Alice is praying for that to happen," Jasper said, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Yeah, well, it's not. Tell her and Mama C to back off," I said, arching a brow. "Anyhow, I did say that Edward and I were fucking each other, but it was in that bland, dry tone where I'm clearly being sarcastic. You know?" Jasper nodded, chuckling around his sandwich, sending crumbs flying onto his tray. "Dude, I don't need a sandwich shower. Say it, don't spray it, Mr. Whitlock."

"Sorry," he smirked, chugging some water.

"Anyway, Edward didn't deny it and Paul looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. When he left, he slammed the door so hard that the picture of my family that is hung in the foyer crashed to the floor. I just pray that I never have to see his ugly mug again. I can't believe he'd try and pull some of the shit he did," I said, stabbing at my salad again. Taking my aggression out on veggies is quite relaxing.

"Okay, so Paul picked up his shit. That is not a clusterfuck," Jasper said.

"Fast forward to after dinner...Edward asks me to go to some benefit for the firm as his date," I grumbled.

"That sounds like fun. Getting dressed up, eating expensive rubber chicken and getting completely schlitzed on top-shelf booze. Hell, I'll go as his date," Jasper bellowed.

"You'd have to be his girlfriend," I responded dryly.

Jasper's laughter stopped and he arched a brow. "Say what?"

"In order to get his boss of his case, Edward said that I was his girlfriend," I explained. The salad wasn't cutting it. I tossed it and got a cookie. "We'll have to be all couply...holding hands, dancing and if necessary, kissing."

"Bella, why are you so against that?" Jasper asked. "Why are you so against Edward?"

"Because he's like my goofy, overprotective older brother. It would be almost-incest. Besides, I don't want to ruin one of the best relationships I have because of that whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Edward is a great guy. I love him immensely, but he's like a brother," I answered.

"An attractive, smart, financially secure, funny and sexy brother," Jasper said, smirking. "Bella, some of the best relationships start off as friendships. Do you remember Maggie and Liam?"

"The couple that asked you to officiate their wedding?" I replied.

"Yep. They were the best of friends for as long as I could remember. Liam, one night, said that he was in love with Maggie andthat he was tired of denying his feelings. He kissed the shit out of her and within two months, I was reading them their vows on a mountain top in Hawaii. You and Edward have a much more solid friendship than Maggie and Liam. Just don't discount Edward as a boyfriend. You know he'll treat you like gold..."

"Stop, Jas. I don't even want to think about it. Edward's my best friend. He'll always be my best friend. Sex, relationships and all of that crap complicates things. Right now, I want to focus on me and being Bella Swan. I'll attend this benefit with Edwardand act like his girlfriend, but actually being his girlfriend, I don't think that's feasible." The bell rang and I huffed out a breath. "I'm not in the mood for my freshmen."

"Give 'em a quiz," Jasper suggested.

"And that's the reason why you're the department head," I said, ruffling his hair. "Talk to you later, Mr. Whitlock. Tell your girlfriend that I'm coming over tomorrow for some fashion advice."

"Will do!"

I threw away my trash, heading to my history classroom that I shared with Jasper. Gleefully, I told my students to clear their desks and I subjected them to the worst thing a high school student can deal with...

A pop quiz.

*Insert evil cackle here*

A/N: God, I can write teacher dialogue so easily. (Well, Jos, it's because you're a teacher. DUH!!) Anyhow, I still need your votes on what color dress Bella should wear to the benefit? Also, sedate? Sexy? I'll post some options on my blogs for your votes. Links for those are on my profile. I'll also post them on Facebook: Tufano79's Twilight Fanfiction Appreciation. Leave me some!