Friends with Benefits

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Six

Things I own: my sanity (though, that's debatable at times), not enough time to write and incredible friends and family!!

Things I don't: Twilight, Edward and Bella (Damn. It.)

Chapter 136

EPOV

Dear God, I was useless at work today. Granted, it was easy stuff, but my focus was not on the courthouse. It was on the woman that said that she loved me this morning. It was on the pure pain that I saw in her eyes when she admitted that she wanted to die. Paul and his actions hurt my girl in more ways than I ever imagined. On top of that, I went to nearby free clinic to get tested thanks to his skanky ass.

Seriously, I never want to go through that ordeal again. I'd rather get a cavity filled without Novocain than that. Ugh!

As I was heading back to the office, I got a frantic phone call from the Martins. I drove to their hotel where Mrs. Martin was in hysterics. Her husband was trying to calm down baby Ethan, but to no avail. His mother figure was a mess and he didn't know why.

"They couldn't find him, Mr. Cullen," she sobbed. "He wasn't teaching his class."

"Some bullshit excuse of a family emergency," Mr. Martin sneered. "Why can't they arrest him at his house?"

"Because he lives outside of Cook County. And he's not being arrested. Not yet. We need to gather a DNA sample to verify that he is Ethan's father. If he is, then he can be arrested for statutory rape, sexual assault and not paying for child support for Ethan. He's in a world of trouble, Mr. Martin. The school, along with the president of the university and Paul were served today with summons to appear in civil court next month. Along with the charges you're bringing against him, Paul is going to be out of a job, owing people a lot of money and labeled as a predator. He'll get his just desserts. You just need to be patient," I explained calmly. "If he's uncooperative or asks for an attorney, then the process becomes longer. If we rush this, bad things will happen. I want you, your wife and your grandson to get what they deserve, which is justice. Not to mention, a hefty pay out for all of your suffering, but you need to work with me. Okay?"

"Okay," Mr. Martin said, slumping down on the couch. "It's just that...we're leaving tomorrow."

"Ethan's results are on file with the Cook County Sheriff and the Chicago Police Department. If it's a match, they'll know andPaul will be hauled in," I said. "It'll work out."

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen," Mr. Martin sighed, hugging Ethan.

"Please, call me Edward."

"Only if you call me Aaron and my wife Susanne."

I nodded, squeezing his shoulder. "Will do, Aaron. I'll be in touch with you if anything changes." We shook hands and I left their hotel room.

I drove to the office. I dropped off several court documents for both Eleazar and Marcus before going into my office. I spent the rest of the afternoon, reading my emails and responding to the plaintiffs in Paul's case, putting their minds at ease. At half past five, I packed up and drove home. As I walked up the back steps of the apartment, I could hear Bella crying. She explained that it was for a homework assignment that her new therapist gave her, but I hated the fact that she was crying. I never wanted to see her tears.

After dinner, Bella and I went to Oberweis for some ice cream. She had recovered from her crying jag but now was fidgety. Back at the apartment, Bella gestured for us to sit out on the back porch. It was a lovely night. She sat down, clutching a pile of notebook paper in her hands. "This was why I was crying earlier, Edward. It's a letter I was supposed to write to myself and outline what I hope to get out of therapy. It also describes why I feel the way I do. I want you to read it. While you do that, I'm going to make some coffee since I slept for shit last night," she snorted humorlessly. Bella didn't wait for my response. She handed me the letter and went back inside to make us some coffee.

I looked at the letter and began reading it. The letter began with the arrival of Alice and me into her life. She described Alice's effervescent attitude and how it counteracted her more reserved personality. She also explained that what started as a prettysubstantial crush on me morphed into something more, but she thought that I'd never see her as anything than a little sister. As the letter continued, it described her relationships and how she let guys get away with crap just because she didn't want to be alone and craved love.

When she got to the point where she started her relationship with Paul, she was living with me. I read about her less than ideal relationship with her boyfriend and how she yearned to spend more time with me and how she longed for me to her boyfriend. However, Paul was, in the beginning, giving her the love she wanted but that changed when he started screwing around on her.In her letter, she was able to pin point when he started cheating. His behavior became more critical of Bella and her once loving, attentive boyfriend was now acting like the douche I was now working on bringing down. Hindsight, though, is twenty-twenty. As her relationship with Paul continued, he kept on cutting Bella down. He kept making her feel like she was nothing and soon, she started to believe it. The only time she was happy was when she was with me, talking to me or hanging out as friends.

Paul's break up with her made her feel her lowest but our 'arrangement' made her feel sexy and desired. Once we became a couple, Bella started to feel better but that nagging voice in her head constantly told her that she wasn't worthy of me. She still feels that way and that's what she's going to work on with her therapist, Elsa.

She apologized profusely in her letter for jumping to conclusions when I told her about Paul. The fact that she was duped for so long made it all too real and she felt lost, angry and scorned. She blamed me, but looking back she now saw the changes in his behavior and it made sense. She also was angry at Paul for ruining the lives of so many college coeds because of his actions and that she prayed that I fed him to the wolves. I'm gonna, baby. Trust. Me.

The letter showed me insight to Bella's psyche. She obviously was troubled and used bad relationships to mask her true feelings for me. The overriding theme of the letter was her fear that now we were together, what would happen now? What happens when Edward hates me? All of her other boyfriends threw her to the side like she was nothing, like she was trash. I had to prove to her that I wasn't going to do that. She also had to get over the fact that she was worthy of me, worthy of us. All she wanted was to be loved.

I was going to do that.

I was going to love her. It was going to be a challenge because Bella had to love herself first, but I'd be there for her.

Every step of the way.

Because I did love her. I always did. I always will.

A/N: We backtracked a bit with Edward. But, we finally got the gist of Bella's letter to herself. I wasn't about to write it all out since it was five pages (according to what I wrote in BPOV). Things are going to be okay for these guys, I promise. The last major hurdle for them to cross is Paul and I have something planned for him. Bella's going to love it. So is Edward...tee hee. It'll be coming up in Bella's next batch of chapters. For now, some conversations, dates and Edward's meet up with Angela.

Leave me some!

PS ~ We're getting close to the end. Just sayin...