Friends with Benefits

Chapter Sixty-Nine

Things I own: my sanity (though, that's debatable at times), not enough time to write and incredible friends and family!!

Things I don't: Twilight, Edward and Bella (Damn. It.)

Chapter Sixty-Nine

EPOV

I was no closer to a plan when I got home. I was pissed off, irked to no end that I couldn't come up with steps to take to getBella to want to be with me without me outright telling her.

Yeah, um, Bella? You know how we've been having sex the past few months? Well, that has kind of changed my feelings for you. I always loved you, but those feelings are now more. I love you. So much. Please don't leave?

Not a wise conversation to have.

I felt like an idiot. I couldn't tell the girl that I loved my feelings. Angry at Bella's stubborn nature, I pushed my stupidity in the back of my mind as I drove home. Parking my car, I dragged my body into the apartment. The scent of Bella's homemade gravy permeated my nose and I groaned. Tossing my bag on the stairs and my overcoat into the closet, I walked to the kitchen. Bella had set the table with some candles. She was standing at the stove, tasting her delicious concoction. "It smells amazing, Bells," I said.

"Thanks," she chirped. Turning briefly, she saw that I was still in my suit from work. "You have time to change. Make yourself comfy."

"Sounds good to me," I said, turning on my heel to go upstairs. I quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a hoodie. I popped out my contact lenses, putting on my glasses and padding downstairs. I walked back into the kitchen. "Anything I can do?"

"Open the wine and make a salad," Bella said as she put some salt in a pot of water on the stove. I did as I was asked andhanded Bella a glass of wine. She thanked me, sipping it eagerly. Ten minutes later, she asked me to help with the pasta since her wrist was still pretty weak from the break. I poured it into the strainer and then into the large bowl. It was covered with the gravy, meatballs and sausage. I carried it to the table and sat down. Bella grabbed her wine glass, sitting down next to me. Putting a hefty serving on my plate, she made a smaller plate for herself. "I hope you like it, Edward. I am sorry for being so distant..."

"I understand why," I sighed. "I was acting like an overbearing boyfriend. I'm not that." Though, I want to be. A boyfriend...not overbearing.

"Edward, I want you to understand why I don't want us to be a couple. At least not yet...you have everything you've ever wanted. You're driven, ambitious and put together. I'm not. I'm a mess. Yes, I'm working at one of the most prestigious magnet schools in the city, but I still feel like I'm one of those high school students. I need to figure out who I am. Yes, it's selfish and I know that I'm hurting you. We're at different points of our lives. You're probably ready to settle down, have 2.5 kids, a dog and a picket fence. I'm not."

"You're right about us being at different points in our lives. And you're right about my wanting to settle down," I sighed. "Bells, as much as I want to continue the friends with benefits thing, I think it's best that we stop. I know it's been since before your tumble that we've had sex, but this blurred line between friendship and lovers is too much for me. We're amazing friends. The sex was phenomenal but I can't control what I feel in my heart. And my heart wants more."

"I was afraid you'd say that," she said, frowning deeply.

"Bella, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm willing to wait, if you just ask," I said, taking her hand in mine. "What we have, both friendship-wise and chemistry between the sheets, it's pretty fucking awesome."

"But, I don't know how long it's going to take me for me to get my head out of my ass," she snorted humorlessly. "It's not fair for you. If you meet someone that is interested in you, you should have the freedom to go out with them without worrying aboutthe stupid little girl who can't figure out what the fuck she wants."

"You and I both know that I haven't had my door beat down with a bevy of beauties," I said, arching a brow over my glasses.

"Edward, it's not fair. I'm not asking you to wait for me. I am asking you to keep being my friend. I can't lose that. I can't lose you completely," she sniffled, her face covered with tears.

"Bells, I'll always be your friend. That will never change," I vowed. She nodded, wiping her face. I took her hand, swiping my thumb over her knuckles. Mentally, I was vowing my patience. I'll wait for you, Bella. You're it for me.

I only prayed that she realized it before it was too late.

A/N: Say it with me...HEA...HEA...HEA...

Plus, we're not done with the lemons, either. XD

Leave me some!