Friends with Benefits

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Five

Things I own: my sanity (though, that's debatable at times), not enough time to write and incredible friends and family!!

Things I don't: Twilight, Edward and Bella (Damn. It.)

Chapter 125

BPOV

We went out for a late lunch. Barb complained about the restaurant, saying it was too dark and that her food was not cooked appropriately. She sent back her entrée three times, saying that the meat was not cooked enough or cooked too much or there was something in her side dish. Alice ignored her future mother-in-law while I made ludicrous suggestions for Alice and Jasper's wedding, just to drive Barb crazy.

It was fun.

"Alice, you should serve hot dogs as your main dish at the wedding," I began. "With Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and that huge jug of potato salad that you find at Sam's Club."

"That sounds really good," Alice quipped. "But Costco potato salad is better."

"Or, you should put on the invite that everyone has to bring their own meat for the winter barbeque or a plate to pass," I snickered.

"This is going to be a formal affair, Becky," Barb snapped. "If you want a hillbilly wedding, you can do it that way for yours. Ifyou don't end up pregnant and have the baby out of wedlock."

"Barb, Bella is just having some fun," Esme said, her lips pursed. "My son's girlfriend has a quirky sense of humor."

"She's uncouth and shouldn't be the maid of honor," Barb spat.

"Well, I guess I won't invite you to the bachelorette party, Barbie," I said, dramatically snapping my fingers. "I bet you'd hate all those strippers rubbing against you." Barb glared at me. If it were possible, steam would have been coming out of her ears. I arched a brow. "I know this is going to be a formal affair. Haven't you heard of humor?"

"Your type of trite humor is not funny, Bernadette," Barb seethed.

"I think she's hysterical. I can't wait to hear her speech," Alice said, kissing my cheek. "Edward will probably be all serious but you'll be the comic relief."

"That's my goal in life," I smirked.

"Let's get going to Dimitra's Bridal Salon," Esme said, paying the bill. Barb smiled smugly, seemingly happy to get a free meal. Petty, tight-assed bitch. How did she have such a sweet boy like Jasper? "Alice, can you drive Barb to the salon? I want to speak to Bella."

"Sure," Alice said, barely hiding her disdain. Barb followed Alice out of the restaurant and I went with Esme. I was afraid I was in trouble, but Esme applauded my handling of Barb's snide remarks. She told me that she secretly hated Jasper's family, shocked at their hoity-toity behavior.

At the second salon, we focused on the style of dress that Alice wanted. Barb was still having a snit fit, but we just ignored herfor the most part. Alice finally decided on two dresses and was trying to decide which one she liked better. The first one was off-white with a lace overlay and intricate beading at the bust. I was not a fan since she had decided on a black and white wedding. Plus, there was something off-putting on the hem. "Ali, try on the other one. I think that's your dress," I said.

"I really like this one, though," Alice pouted.

"Well, we need to see the other one if we want to make a decision," Esme said. Alice nodded, walking back to the dressing room. A few moments later, she came back, wearing a white satin dress with some art deco beading underneath the bust line. The dress hugged her subtle curves and it flared out just above the knee with a matching art deco decoration on the left thigh. It was understated and elegant, but formal enough for the wedding I knew Alice was planning. "Mary Alice, this dress is beautiful. I like this one so much more than the first one."

"Me, too," I said, fluffing the skirt over the pedestal. The salesgirl pinned a clip into Alice's hair while Esme grabbed a fake floral bouquet with red roses. With it all pulled together, Alice gasped. "Now you see it?"

"Oh my gosh, yes!" she squealed, turning around in front of the mirror. "The first one is too much but this...this is it!"

The salesgirl smiled and we began snapping photos of her wedding gown. Soon after, Alice was measured and the order was placed for her dress. Alice was then determined to find me my dress. I was shoved into a dressing room and instructed to strip down to my underwear. Alice thrust a strapless bra at me and I scowled at her. Donning it, I waited for Alice and Esme to pick out the bridesmaid dresses.

Most of the dresses were not all that attractive. Plus, they were sample sizes and I needed to be clipped into them. That so did not help my self-esteem. I'm so fat that sample-sized dresses can wrap around my lard ass. However, we did find a dress that worked with Alice's dress. It was also trumpet shaped but black strapless with a rhinestone broach at the waist. We placed the order for my dress and we went our separate ways. Esme drove Barb back to her hotel while Alice drove me back to my apartment that I shared with her brother.

"Thank you for coming, Bells. I know that Barb was awful, but I don't think I would have survived it if you hadn't been there," Alice sighed.

"I'm shocked at her behavior. Jasper is so sweet and normal and nice. She's the devil incarnate in Gucci," I grumbled.

"Not Gucci. Fake Gucci. She thinks I don't see her knock off purses and poorly made clothes? I work in the damn fashion industry. Her entire outfit, while appearing to be high end, is a bad imitation of Gucci and Prada. The stitching is all wrong and the fabrics are cheap," Alice scoffed. "Seriously, though. Thank you for being here, Bella. It was nice to have someone, besides my mom, act as a buffer between Barb and me. Jasper has had to talk me down after several family functions and it's not pretty. If I didn't love the guy as much as I did, I wouldn't have stuck around."

"I just hope that she's not as bitchy as we continue along this journey for your wedding," I said, wrinkling my nose.

"I have a distinct feeling it's gonna get worse," Alice groaned.

Great. Just great.

A/N: Alice and Bella's dresses are on my tumblr and blog, along with the pictures of the second bridal salon. Leave me some!