Friends with Benefits

Chapter Nineteen

Things I own: my sanity, not enough time to write and incredible friends and family!!

Things I don't: Twilight, Edward and Bella (Damn. It.)

Chapter Nineteen

EPOV

My best friend was devious. Completely and utterly devious. But her revenge on Rose was so classic that even I got in on it. We put blue dye into the shower head in my bathroom. It wouldn't stick to skin but it would turn her hair a lovely shade of Smurf blue. Thankfully, my bathroom had dark tile with dark grout and it wouldn't ruin the shower stall. But, Rose's hair?

I couldn't fucking wait.

After we dropped off the food, Bella and I went to work on rigging the shower stall with the blue dye. Once we were done, weboth had to take showers to wash off the evidence off our hands, but it was worth it.

The rest of the afternoon was fairly low key. Rosalie was trying to calm down with Emmett in the basement, but he was on our side with her behavior. Alice, Bella and I were chopping various foods for casseroles and goodies for our dinner tomorrow. My dad was trying to help but was more of a hindrance. Mom sent him into the family room with Jasper to watch some bad daytime television.

Dinner was a tense affair. Since Mom, Bella, Alice and me spent the day cooking, we didn't want to cook more. So, we sentCarlisle, Jasper and Emmett out to Portillo's to pick up some fast food. Rosalie, of course, complained that Portillo's was filled with saturated fats and refused to eat anything from there. She demanded that Mom make her a grilled chicken breast with fresh veggies. Bella, being the perpetual smart ass that she is, took out a frozen chicken breast and tossed it onto a bed of unwashed lettuce. "Bon appétit!" she said sarcastically.

"Beggars can't be choosers, Rosalie," Mom said as she sipped her fourth scotch of the day. "Emmett ordered you a salad. You can either eat the salad he got you or the raw chicken that Bella so thoughtfully prepared for you."

Rosalie shoved away from the counter and stomped up to her room. Bella shrugged. "She should be grateful that I put it on a plate and not that floor. She's such a bad little bitch," she giggled.

"Bella, language," Mom admonished, though she was snickering.

"What does Emmett see in her?" Alice asked.

"She gives good head," I responded, downing my beer.

"What's that?" Mom asked.

"She is really good a giving him a blow job," Bella explained.

"Are you serious?" Alice asked me. "The reason why he's with her is because she's good at sucking his cock?"

"Alice!" Mom growled.

"What? It's the truth!" Alice retorted. "That's disgusting. We have to put up with her and her bitchiness because of his need for a great blow job."

We couldn't continue the conversation since Dad, Emmett and Jasper came back with the food. Emmett asked where Rosalie was and Bella told him that she was sulking in her room. Rolling his eyes, Emmett went upstairs to try and convince her to come down. The rest of us divvied up our food and enjoyed the saturated fat of Portillo's. Bella and I shared cheesy fries, having a stupid thumb war over the last fry. She won because she distracted me.

"Look, a republican!" she shrieked pointing out the window. Me, being a dumbass, looked and she won.

After dinner, Alice, Jasper, Bella and me watched some movie in the basement while Emmett coddled his girlfriend. Once themovie was over, we all went to our respective rooms. I decided that I was going to stay with Bella since she was a better bedmate than my brother. She didn't have swamp ass and I actually had more than just a corner of the bed.

Bella woke up early and this time I was aware of sneaking out of the bed. "Bells, it's too damn early. Go back to sleep," I mumbled against my pillow.

"I have to clean the turkey. Your mom hates that chore so I volunteered to do it. It's a big bird and it needs a long time to cook. We are feeding your brother. Sleep some more, Edward," she said, tucking me under the covers.

"It's not right that you're getting the damn turkey ready for our Thanksgiving," I said, heaving my body out of the bed. Bella stopped and gaped at me. "What?"

"Where's your shirt?" she asked, pointing to my chest.

"On the floor. It got hot," I said, pulling it over my head. I ran my fingers through my disheveled hair before tossing on my glasses. "You've seen me shirtless before, Bells. It's nothing special."

"We just never slept in the same bed while you were shirtless," she said, tossing her long hair into a messy bun. "Just kind of shocked me Edward. No biggie."

"Ooookay," I said. Bella darted into the bathroom across the hall from her room and I could hear her brush her teeth. That was the weirdest interaction I'd had with Bella. She'd seen me without a shirt before. My parents have a pool and every Fourth ofJuly, we'd have a huge pool party. I don't go swimming in a long-sleeved shirt. Shaking it off, I waited until Bella was done with her teeth before I went and did my usual morning routine. I decided to shower after helping Bella with the turkey. I just brushed my teeth and washed my face, ambling downstairs when I was finished.

Bella had the turkey in the roaster, rubbing it down with lemons and stuffing the skin with large pats of butter. "What do you need, Bells?"

"Can you preheat the oven to three-fifty?" she asked.

I nodded, turning on the oven after I started the coffee maker. If we were going to be up at...Dear God, this is wrong...at a quarter after seven, I needed coffee. So did Bella. Making our coffee, I sat down and helped out when needed. Bella put the bird in the oven by eight and sat down next to me. We relished in the quiet of the house, sipping our coffees.

However, that quiet was short lived.

"MY HAIR! IT'S BLUE!!!"

"Karma's a bitch," Bella giggled. We clinked coffee mugs, smiling victoriously.

A/N: I know, it's highly immature, but when dealing with a woman like Rosalie...she deserves it. Yeah? A picture of her lovely new 'do is on my tumblr and blog. Links for both of those are on my profile. You can also find me on Facebook: Tufano79's Twilight Fanfiction Appreciation. Leave me some!