Scent (Scomiche)

I Feel Like I'm Begging For Everything in Life Lately

Lindsey’s birthday was basically the last big hurrah before Scott’s life gets flipped upside down. Plus, I cherished every moment I spent with them that day because who knows where life is going to take them now that nothing is necessarily keeping them in this town. Or in this state for that matter.

After the whole Valentine’s Day fiasco, Bryan and I had each made an unspoken decision to not talk about it and instead moved on. Scott had told me he could find me a hundred better friends than Bryan, so I told him to do so when his life wasn’t falling apart as much. He stuck his tongue out at me and I laughed. It felt familiar.

We’re approaching the end of February now, and Scott is officially closing Scott’s Scones February 28th. So far, I’ve been doing okay, but I know I’m going to cry when it’s gone. That shop holds many good memories for me, and living in this town and watching it become, like, a bike shop or something is going to be far too much for me to handle.

“Is something wrong?” Bryan asks, talking over whatever movie we’re watching. I wouldn’t know since the idea of Scott and I dating has manifested itself inside every neuron of my brain and has grown each day since.

I sit up, removing my feet from his lap. “No, I’m just out of it today.” I rub my eyes and look back at him. He re-dyed his hair so it’s completely purple again, and he pinned it back with two black bobby pins.

“Did you sleep last night?” He reaches for the remote and pauses the movie, then stands, grabbing his empty glass that once held water in it. He places it in the sink.

“Yeah, pretty good. It’s probably how much I’ve been working.”

He sighs, in what I think is agreement, and comes up behind me, resting his hands on my shoulders. “At least you finally have a full day off.” His fingers begin to move, massaging me. I will never say no to a free massage.

“Mm, I know. I think I’m going to go to the bank later today and talk with my old boss. I want to explain to him why I stopped coming to work and beg for my job back.” When I told Scott about these plans, he smiled really wide and told me to “go get ‘em!”

“You’re not liking Target anymore?”

“It’s fine, but it’s not a dream job.”

He withdraws his hands and comes back around to sit next to me. “God, you’re tense.”

“There’s a lot going on.” Since Bryan is my friend, I want to tell him what Scott said to me on Valentine’s Day, but I don’t think that would go over well. But I also wonder if he would back off a little if he saw that what Scott and I have is not a figment of my imagination or some crazy wish anymore. It’s reality, and in all honesty, I think he’d respect that.

“Like what?” Slight concern is clouding his eyes, and for a second I get the feeling that he really, truly cares about what is going on.

“Just some… stuff between Scott and me.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

I shrug. “He said he was gonna date me eventually but he can’t right now.”

“That’s kind of a dick move.”

I give him a surprised, questioning look.

He explains, “That’s what people say when you’re on their hook. They don’t ever actually plan on dating you, they just want you around in case they’re lonely. Haven’t you ever seen that episode of How I Met Your Mother?”

I’m defensive now. He doesn’t even know Scott. “He’s not keeping me on a hook. His husband just died, and he needs time to heal, and he will definitely be dating me when he’s ready.”