Scent (Scomiche)

Natural?

A/N: remember to ask me questions! The story is almost over... kind of

“What's wrong?” Bryan whispers sadly in my ear. “Did I do something?”

His body is pressed behind me in a spooning position with his arms wrapped tightly around my torso, trying to comfort me, probably because he has no idea what's going on.

I don't know how to answer him. I'm trembling from the small sobs, the high he put me on, and my nervousness, and it feels like they're all swirling up and down my body, mixing together and exiting by making my hands shake.

I try to answer, but my lips feel numb and my throat is dry, so I give up pretty easily.

“I'm sorry if I did something to upset you,” he whispers even quieter and sadder.

How do I explain to him that he didn't do anything, it's just that I can physically feel my connection with Scott shattering as I move on? How do I say the reason I didn't confirm our relationship on Facebook is because I didn't want Scott to see and judge my decisions? How can I possibly make it any clearer that I'm not ready for a relationship and I only agreed to one because I'm lonely and him sucking me off just made it feel really serious all of a sudden? How can I tell him all of that without hurting him? How do I tell him the truth?

I sniffle and try to clear my throat, but I just end up crying, “I'm sorry.”

“Okay baby, it's okay, you just talk when you're ready. I'll lay here all night with you if you want.”

I nod a little. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he says.

But as we keep laying there and I think more about it, my brain starts to push him away. I don't want him to sleep over. We've dated a week or two which is barely anything. I can't let someone who just touched me so intimately stay with me. What, in my bed? What if he expects sex? No… I mean, I'm crying. He's not dumb enough to try and pull anything. I hope. But I don't want him to see my face right now. Because then I have to look at him and know that he knows that we are intimate. That's so awkward. And if he stays then I'll have to explain tomorrow morning why I cried.

But right now it's sweet because I'm crying, and he's just cuddled into me, running circles over my heart with his fingers.

“Were you thinking about Scott?” He suddenly asks.

My breath catches in my throat and my chest tightens.

“I understand if you were,” he continues. “I just want to know.”

And honestly, I really wasn’t thinking about anything. If Scott popped into my head at all, it wasn’t the sexual stuff. It was the sad stuff. His words from the past year implying he wanted to spend his life with me, and then realizing where I am and how wrong he was to say those things to me. Those were fleeting, regular thoughts that come and go as they feel like every day, so I didn’t think much of it.

“Not really,” I croak out. “I wasn’t really thinking of anything.”

“Okay. Just try to get some sleep, Mitchie.”

So I close my eyes, and eventually I think he thinks I’m asleep, so I let him think that, but my mind racing too much to actually get any rest. He starts to get hot and uncomfortable, and soon he slips out from behind me, and I hear him get a glass of water. When he comes back, he lifts me up and carries me to my bed. It’s a sweet gesture, and I pretend to stay asleep through it. I know once I’m in bed it’ll be easier for me to sleep. But I never verbally told Bryan I didn’t want him to stay, so he climbs in with me, but he doesn’t hold me. We just fall asleep next to each other, and I guess it’s nice.