I CHOOSE YOU (Completed)

chapter 7

The days went by, i was getting more and more busy setting up my gallery, and Sofia! She was always somewhere close between my thoughts and heartbeats. We were texting and talking daily, every time she had work she would send me her pictures from whatever country she was in and tease me about the fact that i had to work while she was just all over the place as she says.

Until one shiny morning she texted me.

-Are you free this Friday?

-for you i am. Always.

- hahaha, silly, no really! It's my birthday i want you there.

-oh my baby girl is getting older ;) of course i'll be there

That was the way we talked to each other, if i get my flirting out of the equation she tries to get it back by playing the "accidentally happened to be sexy" pictures move or comment or look, if i give in to my flirtatious ways she softly turn down my coded love offers. At times i thought she liked the attention i was giving her, only that, nothing more, she liked being called thousands of cute names everyday, getting flowers for no reason, getting chocolate boxes delivered to her, little poems written just for her, she liked it whenever she looked at me and saw that "silly dumb smiling for no apparent reason" face i get every time she is around me, my feelings for her were getting so out of control that it was amusing to her and i had no intention in hiding them, i just purposely left that 7 letters expression as old as time to slip away from my dictionary.

She loved how much i was addicted to her and i loved how my addiction to her was warming my heart.

I was the first to arrive to the bar where Sofia said we'll meet, so again i was waiting for my moroccan queen and again she was late with no shame at all. She texted me that she'll be a bit late though, she was picking up her friend on the way to the bar. So i got myself a beer and sat counting the seconds for her to walk towards me with the smile that my heart can't live without anymore.

Her friend was nice, a romanian girl her name was Elena, she was a smart ass. I guess she noticed how i was looking at Sofia with that silly smile on my face so she asked.

E -how do you find dating in Dubai vicky?

V- it's okay i guess.

E- are you seeing someone?

V- No

E- into someone?

The circle Elena was drowing around me was getting smaller and i am sure they can both see i am not enjoying this part of the conversation

V- no, i don't think so, i mean whatever. Are you?... girls? Into anyone?

Why did i asked that, why?
Elena just laughed at the way i was startling and waved her hand across her face

E- i guess someone is shy! Well i am as free as the wind but miss birthday girl here has a handsome fiance soon to be husband.
...

Why is it dark suddenly? Why everything is so quite suddenly even my heart? i can't feel my heart beating as before? Where did the butterflies go? What happened to that hypnotizing smile she always had? Wait what? What did she just said? Am i having a nightmare? is this some reality tv pranks where they almost kill you then they say "smile you're on tv" ? Sofia have a fiance? Sofia have a MALE fiance? Sofia is not into me? She is not into anyone? She's into her soon to be husband? Can she hear my heart cracking from her seat across the table? Can she see me?

I was drawning, when her nervous laughter dragged me back to the life that now seem so worthless to me, i managed to keep a fake smile glued to my face and she managed to avoid my eyes as she speak... i think she did hear my heart cracking maybe she even held the pieces in her hands

S- an other drink?

Maybe an other slap to my face would be a better choice now Sofia? I wanted to leave but i couldn't. how to react to this? why didn't she tell me she had someone? but why would she? I never told her i was into her, i never asked her if she was into someone, that subject somehow fell off all of our conversations and now i know why... for the same selfish reason i was hiding what am feeling for her, not to face the truth that probably i always knew she is straight... she was hiding her fiance existence to keep enjoying my attention, to keep using my feelings for her own pure entertainment.

All those dark thoughts were racing through my head as i was sitting across from Sofia and her friend  trying to keep a somewhat human expression on my face and act involved into whatever conversation the girls were having... Miss "am getting married soon" was doing a very good job keeping her eyes away from mine and the chit chat away from the man in her life.

It was time for her to cut her cake. Her face looked painfully sexy with the candles light reflecting on her skin, her lips were screaming come and kiss me as she blew the candles and seemingly my life was blown away...

How can i still be under her magic, still thinking how sexy she is, still wanting to grab her and fuck the straight married life out of her... how can it be possible? And i hated that fiance, i hated him for having her, for owning her, for doing with her what i was craving to do, for hearing the words my ears were longing to hear from her, for having all rights there is to have with her and taking away every chance i probably never would've had with her anyway.
I hated him, i hated my feelings, i hated Elena for blowing it into my face but i couldn't hate her... she is my Sofia, my forever muse, my never never after.

Finally this painful evening was almost over, i gave Sofia her gift, a bracelet with an infinity pendant attached to it that she wore ever since..  ironic don't you think?

I was too drunk to drive, or at least that's what the girls thought so Sofia dropped me home and as i got out of the car and before i go into my building she came after me and gave me a warm hug ( was she trying to make my misery feel worst? If that was even possible) as her hands were falling slowly from the back of my neck she reached in and gave me a kiss... on my lips.... Sofia just after i found out she had a fiance, she thought, it's  the perfect time to give me the sweetest mind dazzling smack.

Heaven exist. If i didn't believe in God before now i do...