I CHOOSE YOU (Completed)

chapter 25

If you are a straight girl who met her soulmate in the form of a man consider yourself lucky. I never thought being with a woman or trying to be with a woman would be this hard. I love vicky, i am sure of it, no one could reach for my soul the way she does no one could make me happy the way she does but also no one could make me miserable the way she does.

I was with her, i told her i am hers, i told her i loved her i guess even more than she said it to me not that it matters, with her i feel her love to me even from a simple look but for some odd reason she doesnt trust me, maybe i behaved bad in the past, i lied and manipulated her but that was a confusing time for me now am really only hers. I couldn't even be with anyone since that first time in her place... i didn't want to be with someone else and also i think i owe it to her after that big fat lie about my engagement i don't want to her hurt anymore.

I think i was lucky that she took my dare that night i didn't go in thinking i would ask her to be with me, i always get asked so that was a surprise for me but she did chose me and we had an amazing time together like everything about my life was finally perfect and complete... if i didn't have a wedding to attend... as the bride.

I called Alex before i told her i was flying back home, if i was telling my parents he needed to know that first. So, as usual i said am done and he didn't accept it and i got a bit angry at him making it harder that i just said it

- Alex, i don't love you anymore, in fact i think i never did love you or anyone else for that matter not until i fell for this amazing person that i am crazy about and i can't see myself without

A- who is he? Sofia tell me i deserve to know who you're leaving me for.

S- Alex, he is a ... she.

A- what? Sofia baby you're not a messed up girl you're not  a lesbian. what are you saying? This is not right and you know it. you're just feeling lonely cause am not there but i'll move there if you want but you're not a goddam lesbian at least not when you are with me

S- oh man are you really this ignorant? I AM A GODDAM WHATEVER I WANT TO BE ALEXANDER and by the way you met her. Am in love with vicky and she's the one am leaving you for.

That was the last conversation i had with him until he showed up at my parent's house you have to admire the persistence i must say... he was threatening me since he got there he was threatening me, if i call off the wedding he'll tell my parents. I didnt think he would actually do it but... he did and thank god he did. It was bad, it was very bad but the truth was out and surprisingly i am not ashamed even after what my mum said that she'll diss me i'll go to Hell my dad would die but as i said to her, both my parents had to struggle their whole life for their love and made it after 30 years or more of marriage they're still so in love with each other and they shared a happy life why shouldn't i have that? Just cause i loved a woman?

Their reaction was expected though nothing major apart from my father not talking to me, my mother bursting into crying and praying for my soul every time i talk to her like some form of exorcism and my siblings act like nothing happened though sometimes they would try to joke about it making fun of the "lady love" so it's not a disaster after all unless my parents keep treating me this way... forever.

The unexpected came from my soulmate, what she said to my mum destroyed me, here is this woman who's been after me since we met she said she loved me and couldn't wait for me to be done with the Alex chapter but the moment i was free she send me back to the darkness, i was sitting next to her gothering all of my strength to tell my mum what is it and just pack my stuff and go away with vicky i was so convinced that if my family love me they would want me to be happy eventually they'll accept the facts and i won't have to lose the one person that i want the most but miss crazy girl had other plans and literally through me back to my parents as she left the house. I wasn't going to settle for it, when you love someone you go on war for them you fight and only when you come back beaten, bleeding, broken and alone only then you can let them go knowing that you've done it all and it just wasn't meant to be. I knew she'd go back to the same hotel, where else would she go and as soon as she opened she door i lost my marbles, if the girl want crazy, crazy is what she'll get but her crazy was a notch or two higher than mine and once again she left me behind, same way she let me go back in Bangkok after our first day together, same way she let me go after Elena blew up my lie same way she let me go when she first met Alex... she always leave me confused and broken behind.

She said she needed to go to Madrid and i just let her go, i knew this wasn't the end i was hurt but i wasn't worried i loved her so much to just lose her because god said so... what am i saying now am sounding like her.... It was just a matter of time so i just went on with my empty life waiting for her to come and claime me. Knowing her usual "runaway bride" episodes usually take longer than a month it was a surprise that she called me only two weeks after but i wasn't going to pick up not yet. Am giving her few more days of Hell without me so once she come back she'll never leave.