Time After Time

Drowning in Nonsense

Sitting on a park bench, Mitch watched the world pass him by, continuing on and on without a care. His attempts to distract himself from his little confession were going surprisingly well. He felt a slight pang of jealousy in his chest as his eyes fell upon a young couple who were strolling hand in hand along the pathway. He averted his eyes from the lovers and allowed his eyes to wander from person to random person once again. He absent-mindedly fiddled with his cell phone, running his fingers over the smooth surface as he exhaled deeply. He sat back against the bench, slouching slightly, and lifted his head towards the clouds. One day, he’d bring a date here and watch the clouds flutter and fly around in the sea of blue, he decided. It reminded him of Scott’s shirt, and also of Scott’s eyes and – well, it just reminded him of Scott. He wanted to bring Scott here, and watch the clouds with him. But Scott wouldn’t want such a thing. Why would anyone want to be with me? Mitch thought, sighing to himself. Forcing himself upright in an attempt to prevent the grey clouds that rained on his kind from returning, the countertenor returned to his people-watching session. The clouds could only taunt him by showing him the only one he wanted, the one he could never have.

Slowly standing up, the brunette began to make his way back to the apartment but he changed his mind after he had traveled half of the way back and headed to Starbucks. He didn’t really want more thinking time, but he certainly didn’t want to face Scott. He ordered his coffee and stared at the food on display. He really wanted the food, but he would have no chance of finding a boyfriend if he was fat. He knew that well, but he liked food. He hated starving himself, but he didn’t know what else he could do. Taking his drink, he made his way over to a corner booth and slumped down into the seat. His thoughts had started to race around his head again like speeding cars on a track and he could feel the storm in his mind brewing.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Mitch let out a deep breath. Everything was confusing. Nothing felt right, everything was wrong and nothing made sense anymore. He wanted Scott, so instead he pushed him away. He wanted food, so instead he didn’t eat. He forced the tips of his fingers into the corners of his eyes to try to halt the tears that had started to burst out. His brain was filled with random words and phrases that only amounted to more confusion. The layers of nonsense in his head rained down on him like a grey, stormy cloud as his eyes let raindrops fall. He just wanted an escape from the sea of nonsense in which he was drowning. The time flew by like the clouds outside, but the ones in his mind remained, dark replacements for his heartfelt daydreams.

No one had approached him, each and every one too busy with their own lives. Rationality had long since faded and Mitch felt rejected. He believed that no one cared about him. His body ached, his throat was sore, his eyes stung and he wanted to go home. Home is where the heart is and Scott certainly had Mitch’s heart. But Mitch being able to claim Scott’s heart, Scott’s lips – just Scott – as his was nothing but a distant fantasy that was fading fast. Reality was a nightmare, and Mitch wanted to sleep. His body begged for rest, for nutrition, for love and for comfort. Mitch’s brain told him to do the opposite. The conflicting emotions were exhausting and left Mitch feeling nothing; he was completely numb. The numbness spread through the countertenor like a painkiller, and the small brunette took in a large breath. Finishing the rest of his coffee, he left the shop. He had to decide which path to follow. And he knew that he had to decide fast.

Upon his arrival back to the apartment, he was surprised to see Kirstie and Scott curled up, fast asleep on the couch. Smiling a little, he petted Wyatt, who purred in response, and then crept, carefully, toward his bedroom, the Sphynx cat following closely behind him.

“Can you help me?” he whispered to the cat as he shut the door. He sat down on his bed and the animal joined him, strolling into the short man’s lap and settling down. The purring Sphynx, who had curled himself up in a ball, was the only company Mitch could face at that moment, and he was grateful for the small animal’s company, “Mommy’s going to do something, baby, and it might ruin everything, but I think it’s the only way to stop this... mess that I’ve caused,” the countertenor continued rambling on until he noticed that the small animal was asleep. Chuckling lightly, he gently scooped up the sleeping kitten and placed him on a pillow before removing his clothes and getting into bed. Sleep found its way to Mitch in a record time. The brunette knew what he was going to do.