Time After Time

Breaking Down

Scott glanced awkwardly around the table at his friends, unable to explain why Mitch had left like that. He couldn't even explain why he'd glared at Kevin. He had no words to describe anything that was going through his head, so he moved his gaze around the table time after time until his phone buzzed, alerting him to a text. He let out a shaky sigh of relief as he noticed the text was from Mitch, but he did not find the text message itself calming at all.

"What's going on?" Kirstie asked, worry filling her voice. Scott looked up from his phone and shuffled awkwardly under the gaze of his three friends. He didn't know what to say; he couldn't just tell them to forget about it - there was no way that they could. But, it wasn't really Scott's secret to share. The blonde clenched his fists and took a deep breath. He had to tell them because he knew that the countertenor sure as hell wouldn't.

"Mitch hasn't been eating. I don't remember the last time I saw him eat more than a couple of bites of... Well, anything." Kirstie didn't look at all surprised, but Avi and Kevin, however, were picture perfect representations of shock.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Scott confirmed with a sad sigh. He wanted to be unsure, he wanted to be able to say that he was kidding, that it was an elaborate joke, a dumb prank, but he couldn't. It was beginning to hit Scott hard, and he couldn't pretend any more. His boyfriend wasn't eating. His boyfriend most likely had an eating disorder. His boyfriend needed help. Scott hadn't realized that he was crying until he felt Kirstie's arm around him, rubbing his back and telling him that it was all going to be okay. Scott knew better however. How could everything be okay? Mitch wasn't eating, and if Mitch didn't eat then he'd die and if Mitch died then Scott would have nothing and - Scott was sobbing hard now, hyperventilating as his friends tried to calm him. The blonde tried to open his eyes, but all he could see were black spots and blurs as he took frantic gasps. He felt sick and the room was spinning. He just wanted it all to stop. He could faintly hear various voices surrounding him, and he gradually became able to place them properly. Kirstie was still sitting next to him, Avi was crouched down beside him, and Kevin was standing behind the bass. As Scott's eyes dried a little and his sobs began to subside, he noticed the concern that was etched onto all of their faces. He hung his head down guiltily, staring into his lap and wishing to disappear. Those idiots were crowding around even though Mitch had disappeared. Why were they not helping the countertenor?

"Mitch!" Scott found himself shouting out, trying to stand up. Kirstie and Avi held him down, not allowing him to leave the chair.

"I'll go," Kirstie said strongly, releasing her grip on the baritone's arm and leaving, heading off in the same direction that Mitch had disappeared in. Scott pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a shuddery breath.

"Has that happened before?" Kevin asked quietly. Scott felt as if his voice had been ripped from his throat, and so, instead of answering the cellist with words, he nodded dumbly. The beat boxer and the bass shared a worried glance and Scott sighed. Everything was so fucked up, and there didn't seem to be a way to fix it. 

"Do you know why you've been breaking down like this?" Avi asked. Scott could hear from the bass's voice that he was very concerned for the blonde.

"I think... I think it's Mitch," the baritone murmured, glaring holes into his lap. He didn't want Mitch to be reason for his distress, but, deep down, he knew that the countertenor was the cause. It wasn’t really Mitch’s fault though. It was complicated. He didn’t understand; he was just scared.

"What do you mean?" Avi frowned.

"You're worried about him, aren't you? You've kept all of your fears locked up inside if your head and now you can't handle it anymore," Kevin whispered, walking over to the space that Kirstie had vacated, "You need to tell people, Scott. I don't care if it's one of us, or if it's a professional, just please, Scott, talk to someone. You're allowed to hurt to," the usually cheerful beat boxer was being so serious that it was almost scary. Avi seemed to be almost speechless, unsure of what to say to the baritone, but Scott could tell that he meant well.

"I'm all ears if you want to talk," the bass managed at last, gently patting the blonde's arm.

"But what about Mitch? He could die if he keeps this up," Scott muttered. He didn’t want people worrying about him. If he knew that Mitch was okay, then he’d be fine.

"We're here for the both of you, okay?" Kevin said, reassuring his friend. The three shared a brief group hug and the blonde felt as if a large weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Kirstie knew. Avi knew. Kevin knew. They were going to help both him and Mitch. For the first time in far too long, Scott felt truly relieved. He had other people around him that could help him to protect Mitch, and if the blonde knew that his boyfriend was safe, then surely things could start to improve for the both of them. He wiped away the last of the tears from his eyes and looked at his two friends before smiling slightly at them.

"Just help me keep him safe," he said quietly. The other men somehow understood exactly what the baritone was saying, and smiled back, nodding their heads. Everyone had known how Scott wanted to protect Mitch, but they'd never considered that it could have any effect on the blonde, until that moment. And now, they were all annoyed at themselves. How had they managed to completely ignore their friends' suffering? How had they let it slip by them?