Time After Time

Freeing Chained Monsters

“Ryan should be here in an hour – what’re we doing this week?” Scott asked, strolling into the living room. He’d clearly just stepped out of the shower – his blonde hair was wet and in need of styling. He was wearing a white tank top and a pair of black shorts – something that looked simple, yet still suited him perfectly. Mitch was perched on the couch, phone in his hand, scrolling through Twitter. The television was showing the antics of everyone’s favourite underwater water duo, who were walking through Bikini Bottom.

“No idea – we could do another Q and A if you want,” Mitch suggested, not looking up from his phone. The brunette was completely engrossed in the small screen, captivated by the meaningless, yet amusing words and thoughts of other human beings that lived somewhere else on this large, rotating planet. Most of these people he would never meet, but he enjoyed reading what they had to say nonetheless. It gave him something to do that wasn’t staring at the television screen twenty-four-seven. Mitch was feeling surprisingly relaxed, but there was this feeling looming over him that was almost unbearable. He felt as though there was a small flame inside off him, burning away, that would surely soon explode into a destructive fire that would corrupt and kill everything in its path. Mitch felt like he was a trapped monster that was fighting to suppress its freakish tendencies and every time he was truly alone, the monster would take over and engulf him. Sighing, and glancing up at his attractive boyfriend, he switched Twitter accounts and waved the mobile device at Scott, “Shall I tweet it?”

“Another one? Eh, go on then. There’s nothing else we can do right now,” Scott shrugged, plopping himself down next to the countertenor, who was tapping his phone’s screen.

“Done,” the brunette declared as he switched Twitter accounts once again to retweet what he had previously posted. Scott took his own phone from the coffee table and copied Mitch, broadcasting the Superfruit tweet to his own followers.

“Fifty five minutes, so... We should probably go through the questions in around half an hour,” the baritone said as he glanced up at the television. Mitch shuffled closer to the older man and rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Sounds like a plan.”

“You look so cute like that,” Scott whispered, wrapping an arm around the brunette as he smiled. Mitch nuzzled his face into Scott’s shoulder and let out a sigh. This was one of the few times when the countertenor felt truly at peace with the world. Although there was still a certain degree of doubt in his mind as to whether he could fully trust the blonde, he’d decided to ignore that feeling and fight through it because he knew that their relationship depended on it. He could see himself growing old with the taller man, and, although that scared him more than he could possibly explain, it also calmed him. It was soothing to imagine himself being with Scott for the rest of his life because he knew that when he was with Scott, everything was okay. All of those gears in his mind were in the correct places, moving at the right speeds to keep Mitch in a state where he could feel okay. Mitch wouldn’t use the term happy, because he still couldn’t comprehend ever feeling truly happy, but he had decided that feeling okay was the closest he could ever get to the unreachable goal, and so he had accepted it. He needed Scott to be able to feel sane, to be able to function like a typical human being. Without the baritone, Mitch was weak and pathetic. But with Scott, he felt as though he could achieve something, even if it was only a miniscule thing. Scott still hadn’t requested sex, he hadn’t insulted him, he hadn’t hit him – it was already more successful than any of Mitch’s previous relationships and he couldn’t help but feel glad. Glad and very, very relieved. He was conflicted and confused. If Scott did any of these things, Mitch knew he wouldn’t be able t get out this time due to how deep his feelings were and that left him terrified. As his brain started to spiral, and tear drops began to fall, Scott began to whisper soothing words into the brunette’s ear. Instantly snatched from the trap inside his mind, Mitch looked up at his boyfriend, who raised a gentle hand and wiped away his tears. The blonde held Mitch close, allowing the countertenor to cry out the last of his thoughts, and the younger man quickly felt the suffering fade and shrink away to the corner of his brain. It was still there, but it was less significant now. It wasn’t the main focus, and so Mitch felt free again. His boyfriend had, once again, broken the shackles and released him from his chains.

“Thank you,” the brunette’s quiet words left his lips and he gently pulled himself back from the older man. Scott looked on with concern in his blue eyes, and, once again, that familiar pang of guilt shot through Mitch’s chest. Mitch glanced down at his lap, but his chin was instantly lifted by his boyfriend’s large, but loving hands.

“You’ve nothing to thank me for, Mitchie. I love you, okay?” Scott said, looking straight into Mitch’s eyes before he pressed his lips to the countertenor’s forehead. Mitch blushed slightly, a little taken aback by the blonde’s actions. None of his exes had ever been so kind to him. He’s been kind to them, but he’d never received the same care and affection in return. Instead, he’d received bruises and hurtful words that would chase around in his head and- Mitch took a deep breath and watched his boyfriend’s concerned eyes, knowing that he couldn’t allow himself to fall back into the decay of his brain.

“I love you, Scott,” he told the baritone, who softly kissed the younger man. They stole several kisses, each one gentle and a little more meaningful that the previous, until they were snatched from the pleasure of each other’s lips by the door. The two men shared a look of horror when they realized that they still hadn’t picked out questions for their video, and then burst out laughing. Mitch stood up, as Scott was shaking his head in amusement, and went to let their friend in before the three of them sat down and discussed the new video. After selecting the comments, they turned on the cameras and Scott and Mitch filmed their video, smiling and joking with each other as they usually would. Neither man faked a smile, neither man pretended to be okay. In that moment, as they held onto each other, laughing, both men were genuinely happy. In that moment, because they were together, they felt free.