who to hate? || Anthony Trujillo (3rd BOOK of Who To Blame? SERIES)

Stay Alive

••••Anthony's POV••••
I was falling asleep waiting for her to wake up. I wanna be the first person she's wake up to. What have i done?
I can't figure it out my self. I was blind and stupid. I don't even want to talk about my fucking self. I was too reckless and a fucking moron.

She was so thin and i can feel her bone trough her soft skin. I kiss her hand with tears of regret. Then i kiss her belly and saying hello to my little girl. I bet she'll have a golden heart just like her mother. I missed her so much i just can't pour it in words. But i was so dumb for letting her suffer like this. What the fuck am i

Chance was standing on the corner the whole day. Im pretty sure if he haven't eat at all day long just to keep her company. I know he treats her way better than me. Sometimes i feel trashed and useless for being like this.

I was enjoying my nights with the boys, but then i see the love of my life laying on the hospital, pregnant, and tired mentally and physically honestly kills me like a bullet. How can i be a fucking ignorant piece of shit?!

I admit that im a dick. But i can never lie to my own feelings. Trough all the girls i've dated, i could never explain how strong my feelings to Zeeva.
It's unexplainable and i could never perfectly describe how strong and impactful it is to my mental health. I could never had a genuine happiness anymore since i reject her baby.

I mean our baby.....

Everything felt temporary and easily fades away. But not with her. Even her smalest smile could bring an electricity all over my limb. Her happiness could made my day like a rainbow in a rain storm.

She was broken

And i was broken

But the only feeling that keeps us alive and gather all the shattered pieces of ours is only a simple yet powerful feeling. And the feeling is called love.

••••Chance's POV••••
Anthony was crying all night and fell asleep holding her hand. I haven't seen any other love stories more pathetically beautiful than this. They're painfully beautiful to see. Especially everything that i see now. I may not play a big role on this show, but i don't care. All i do care about is Z's happiness. Cause it's what makes her stay alive. And i won't spend the rest of my life without seeing her smile.

••••Back to Z's POV••••
"Anthony?" I run my fingers trough his hair. Then he quickly opens his eyes and liss my hand god only knows how many times. I laugh at his cute smile within his soft lip. "Don't say anything" He says. I smile and nod. "Don't love me. I don't deserve it" He says again but now i shake my head gesturing a big no. "No don't do that. You're so cute when you do that" He grabs my both hand and covers his face with my hands. "Anthony" i call his name again. This time, my chest hurt.

Then i reach my phone and play a song from John Martin - Anywhere for You (play it).

Yeah i've been in love with electronic musics and i just want to make this moment special. Eventough this day may be the worst day for my whole limb. Then i cried focusing on the lyrics. He looks so broken inside when the tears running trough my chest.

The view from my eyes were peacefully breaking my heart. Chance is on the corner, leaning to the wall, smiling. And beside me is Anthony. Can't even lift his mouth to smile. Tears all over his cheeks.

Where i am now? I was in Ohio doing college stuff. And now im here. Pregnant. Being rejected with the father of our baby. And fucking depressed over a thing that i should have never get involved into.

But i want him. I beg for his touch.
I loved him way too much till im drowning in feelings and desperation. Gasping for air and love. Laying on the hospital, dying.

"Please put this back on" Then he reaches something inside his pocket. The promise ring. His voice was too broken to explain. His heart was stained with regret and shameful thoughts.

I can't help but smiling. Letting him putting it on to my shaky finger and kiss my hand. Closing his eyes. I see Chance's eyes were watery.

"Im so sorry baby. I don't deserve any of this. You're too precious to be mine. Im a monster and you're the angel. I don't belong in this world" He groans and his voice is raising up making my heart beat faster.

Then Chance says "oh shit" beneath his breath and looking panic all of a sudden.

Then Anthony stands up and running outside. "ANTHONY!" I yell as loud as i could but it won't make him stop.
"No no no no" I look at my belly, then my shaky legs. Chance is on ready position but had no idea what to do. I know Chance would never leave me bcs he knows that imma savage. And i'll fucking run chasing fucking Anthony.

About 5 sec in silence, i pull all the string away from me, jumping from the bed and running as fast as i can with hospital's dress and fucking bare foot. "THE FUCK ZEEVA" I hear Chance is running after mw but this time, God help me to run so that he couldn't catch me like he always did.

I run trough the lobby and i see Anthony running like a psycho non stop. But the more i see him, my power are crazily increasing. I don't even think about Chance behind me.
My eyes were so focused on him.

"ANTHONY!!"

He's not even looking back at me.
People are staring at me. Probably thinking of a crazy pregnant teenager chasing after bright future.
Then he increases his speed making me start to feel exhausted.

"ANTH"
*car honk* *loud crashing sound*