Unwritten Destiny

18 - Destiny Oh Destiny!!!

Maybe all we need is just a little faith
'Cause baby I believe that love will find the way.

-Destiny by Jim prickman

           ---------------------------------

Let me ask everyone a question, the damn question I am not being able to figure out. What's happening to me? Seriously, I meant that. I so meant that. I wasn't me anymore. I was fucked up in nothing but illusions. I even tried getting motivated by Prince Ea YouTube videos but I was lost. Lost deep inside the pain, maybe. I couldn't tell anyone about that because there are few people who have been worse than I am. Actually there are plenty of them. Okay for one time let us suppose I tell my story to the world but after that? What? There are no words and hence no reasons too.

The sensation I was having wasn't of pain. People would laugh at me if I call it pain when half of the world is in worse condition than me. But still it fucks you up. I had never been so thoughtful, you know like a philosopher. Actually I was turning into a philosopher. But the words, they were inside, inside of me tearing me into pieces and it's like hit by the thousands of prickles. It was the day I realized I was an introvert.

At a point, I thought heartbreak was important. It makes you feel what you've been missing. I hadn't known much about myself  before I encountered with her. And here every night I am getting to know more and more about no one else but myself. But right then, I had to pour out those all the evil pain from my heart's ​core to the world. I came up with a better idea this time.

Remember, that blog thing, that darkprincess05 . Now in no time I made and account and tried expressing myself to the world. Yet, that word was too heavy to describe a group of 200 people. I thought a lot about the username. Obviously​ I couldn't write my actual name there. And finally I came up with a name, the hypocrite . I really was living a hypocritical life and I thought that name was perfect. ( But as a writer​ I am not living a hypocritical​ life tho.) I thought of the things to write but it was too difficult to start. I didn't know how writers do that quite easily. I nearly thought for 30 minutes and finally decided to write whatever comes in my mind. And there went the first ever blog of my life, the first time ever I wrote about something like that. It wrote :

What do you know about yourself? Not just "You" I am talking about, not the person you see when you're in front of the mirror but the actual 'you' whom you feel in the dark, at the end of the day. Why would someone waste their time trying to figure out the person they are and the life they want to live? And ironically, that someone's me. This time I am done making plans. I am done picturing that perfect life; maybe the live I dreamt about is perfect just in dreams, that responsibly adventurous life. Maybe responsibility and adventure aren't that good friends to be together. Maybe I dreamt of life that everyone wants, everyone dreams. But I shouldn't compulsorily be like everyone else, do I? Not everyone in this world is born to imitate the things others do. Everyone is one of a kind and I too am. 'Cause this time I am done waking up and repeating the loop of my day. What if you wake up everyday thinking that what exciting thing is going to happen to me today?Not the same reckless things you did yesterday and the day before.
So this time No plans, no requests absolutely and no confessions. To every bad you did, there is something ​good , deep down somewhere. Even Evil sees goodness in evil. From all those things I have been through, I don't know what I learned. But I really learnt life. And believe me or not , life is all about regrets. The more mistakes you make the more regret you feel and the more regret you feel the more you learn life.
Life's a synonym of uncertainty And sooner or later you all are going to realise it when you turn out to be "you" the perfect one; not that perfection​ in dictionary or in the lyrics of a song but that perfection which is inside you, the whole time.