The Broken Condoms

The

Vic's point of veiw

"HARDER!!!!" I screamed behind me. "PULL HARDER YOU WEAK LITTLE CHILDREN!!!"

My hands were tight around the dirty rope, Kellin behind me and the rest of our group lined up behind him. In front of me on the other side of the rope was the metal head kids who were about a foot away from being pulled over the cone in the middle.

My face was literally ducking drowning in sweat dripping from my forehead down off my chin like tears of determination. This was t he final rope battle of group activities today, we had conquered all of our other opponents and now it was just these losers.

We were all grunting like we were in a gross porno and I could feel welts growing on my hands. I questioned how willing I would be to play guitar later today. We were moments away from winning, just moments and I could feel victory building up at the bottom of my throat as the front person of the metal heads slipped one more inch closer.

"PULL HARDER. " I yelled. "ON THREE OKAY? ONE. TWO. THREE-"

And then we fell on our asses as the metal heads let go, accepting defeat. I let myself fall onto my back and put my hands on my face, wiping off the sweat and resting as the rest of my group jumped around yelling in very vocally unhealthy ways.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and removed my hands to see Emily kneeling above me with a bright smile. "You okay?" She asked with her quiet, timid voice. I smiled And nodded. "I'm great. Sore but great." She extended a hand which I grabbed and she pulled me up. We both joined were our friends stood smiling, all sweaty with cuts on their hands.

"Fuck yeah!! Those wet dog looking head bangers can go stuff their L up their assholes!!" Jared said with a huge smile and some rather gross hand gestures. Lynn laughed and high fived him, smiling just as big.

"Now who wants to go have a lunch of sweaty champions?" Kellin said, nodding towards the lunch hall were everyone else had headed.

"Hell yes, you're speaking my tongue. Bye." Lynn said, hastily walking off in search of food. We didn't even bother to go shower today, just bounced straight to the lunch room victoriously, sitting at our normal table.

"Did you see how devastated they looked?" Jared said in between bites of his greasy burger, ketchup strewn about his lips. I laughed at him and motioned to his mess but he didn't care, he was already taking another inhumane sized bite.

"They looked so sad, I kinda feel bad. " said Emily quietly, picking at her fries.

"Aww." Lynn and I said in unison, our eyes darting to one another.

"Don't be, now we get to go to the recording room thing and see how we sound and shit. Yay as fuck." I said before stuffing a big bite of lasagna into my lasagna-hole. I was excited to be in the soundproof room because most the time we got distracted by outside noises and I knew the soundproof room had recording stuff and mirrors so we could see how we looked. I think it will help Emily with knowing what to do on stage.

The group talked a little more throughout lunch. Kellin had sat next to me today and was holding my hand the whole time. It felt really wierd to be hiding it from them and I guess I should ask him about that. I mean, I don't see why they can't know.

----

We all collapsed onto our bed at 5, an hour before dinner, deciding to chill after our time in the soundproof room. It had gone fine, Emily had seemed to really pick up the idea of just being someone else on that stage, walking up there and just owning it, not being shy and quiet; The concept that you can be anyone up on that stage. We weren't bad at all, we sounded good but I knew good wasn't enough. We had to blow the judges away and we just don't have that factor yet, but I knew we would get there. We have like 15 days to get there.

On our way back here after practice, Kells and I had agreed we should tell the group that were a thing now so we won't have to awkwardly hide it for no reason. We'd gotten so used to keeping our morning time secret it almost felt like his needed to be too.

After a few minutes of everyone just sitting on their phones, I heard Jared say, "anyone wanna play slap jack?" And in about 30 seconds flat we were all on the floor in a circle. Jared had a deck of cards out and separated the deck between all five of us and I started the game.

Through the next fifeteen minutes, I discovered that Lynn and I are extremely competitive but I guess I already knew that.  We played about 10 games of slapjack, mostly won by either me or Lynn, and a couple games of bullshit, which taught me Emily is a great liar. After we finished our last game of bullshit and agreed to head to dinner, Kellin and I exchanged a look silently agreeing it was time.

I cleared my throat. "Hey, uh, guys real quick. I have some news. " I say fighting back a smile. Everyone stops and turned to me, giving me the cue to talk. A small bit of nervousness bursts through me but I fight it.

"Kellin and I are officially boyfriend and boyfriend." I say, walking over to grab his hand, no longer holding back my huge smile. Spread across Kellins face was one to match.

I heard Lynn mumble "I knew it." While Emily smiled and Jared clapped

"Is that why y'all always spend time together in the morning?" Jared asks.

Before I can answer Emily asks, "how long?"

And so as we walk out the door to the dining hall, we answer all their questions.

Okay I think maybe I'm gunna start working on this regularly. If you didn't already know, the reason I've been gone is my mental health being terrible and school weighing me a bit down and just personal bad things. Stuff really hasn't gotten much better ???? But it will be fine. I'm really, really, really, really stressed rn but I'm going to try and get a chapter out a week from now on. That doesn't mean it will happen but I will be trying. I have to fight this and that's all I can do. I talked to my mom about therapy but as usual she didn't do it and like don't get me wrong, I fucking love my mom but she honestly never gets shit done unless it's like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And this is only !!!! And I haven't really been on her ass about it bc I don't really know if it will help me and I don't know if I'm ready. I mean, therapy teaches you a lot of coping methods and gives you a place to get ur shit out but I feel like I already have a shit ton of coping methods and idk idk idk I don't wanna talk about it TBH. Life's just A big ass jumble and I'm working to change who I am and accept what I can't change(again.) because I've really started to deeply deeply deeply hate myself. Oh and wattpad deleted another one of my books with no warning or reason. (That's another reason I haven't been writing bc what's the point if wattpad unjustifiably deletes my books (:)Thanks. I don't have a back up of that. Thanks. Thanks thanks. ThAANKS. rude as fuck it was a good ass thing too. Anyways bye. OHHH and there's this cute ass boy in my English and I'm trying to marry him but he doesn't know me so it might be difficult. I'll update u guys (update it's been a month and the boy found out ilike him and he doesn't like me back oops and yeah I'm legit so busy with choir(I had a concert yesterday and on Saturday and then I have a choir thing on dec. 2, 4, 7 ,and 9, and more I just can't remember. I'm in varsity choir and show choir and show choir has lots of traveling like we have a tcu basketball game were singing at, and at the Dallas zoo so yeah, hopefully that gives you an idea.) I'll write when I can but between school, my mom, my mental health and choir, I have no idea how that will work out. But I never leave a book unfinished so don't worry.)