Secrets... (Troyler self harm fanfic)

Chapter 2- The discovery

Troye's POV

Usually, when I'm in someone else's house I tend to reframe from cutting but one comment retweeted and quoted over 4,000 times was enough to knock me the wrong way:

"@troyesivan is staying at Tyler Oakley's house! I bet Troye wants some of that action! Shame that #Troyler will never be real! Did you know that Troye made that up when he first met Tyler! #shameful"

 I make a swift movement and grab my razor. I close the door mostly, realising Tyler wont come up, having a video to upload himself soon.... I unravel my gauze revealing old scars, recent scabs and soon to be cuts. I do my routine that I do when I am depressed. I look up and reach for the gauze. As I do I hear a knock on my bedroom door.

"Troye? Are you ok boo?" Tyler asks, two doors away.

"Yeah! I needed the toilet I'll be out in a minute!" I call back, making it extra loud for him to hear.

"Fucking hell Troye! Anyone would have thought you were two doors away..." Tyler fake grumbles, going downstairs.

"Depends on what you mean by doors..." I mutter to myself, barely audible. I wrap myself up and go downstairs. Tyler has stuck the movie on and is huddled in the blanket

"Now I dunno what you STRAIGHT guys do but in a gay guys house, we cuddle watching chick flicks whilst eating Nutella!" Tyler smirks. I act at being hesitant but give in, sitting next to him. I love Nutella but I will break my promise.... I eat anyway and before I know, I'm cuddled into Tyler's chest, falling asleep fast.

Tyler's POV

It has barely been 10 minutes before I hear Troye snoring softly beside me. I take advantage and wrap my arms around him lightly. I carry him to bed, forgetting to take his clothes off. I reluctantly go back to bed, falling asleep quite quickly. I am awoke somewhere between 2 and 3am. Someone is crying and calling out my name. I shuffle sleepily into Troye's room where I see him thrashing about. I go to soothe him but what he says shocks me

"Tyler,.... Look I wanted to tell you... I'm sorry... What the fuck..." He cries. I decide I have heard enough. I pick him up, still huddled in the blanket. I put him on my lap and gently wake him up. I sit him on the bed as he opens his eyes. He begins to question e but all I could think about was how skinny he was... and what he said didn't help at all to my denial.

"Tyler??? Look I'm sorry. I'm just gonna chill.... Wanna watch a film? This time I will stay awake" He smiles. He sticks on 101 Dalmatians and shrugs as I look at him quizzically. He doesn't keep his promise and falls asleep, doing the exact same thing as the film finishes. I kinda hope this becomes a regular thing because I enjoy holding a frail Troye. He does the same thing 2 nights in a row and I pluck up the courage to feel his ribs, gasping at how protruding they were. He apologises for him waking me up and I say no worries.

Troye's POV

I need to start cutting again... The nightmares don't seem as bad. I have been 2 days clean when I crumble slightly. Not 1 lovely comment on the video of me singing. It feel so bad that I have no fans. I lay awake, silently crying that night. At about 4am I hear Tyler walk in. I peek at him and I even out my breathing, just for good measure. he sits and stares at me as I stir. He stays where he is, shrinking back a little.

It is like 6:30am and Tyler has been staring at me for over 2 fucking hours... I pretend to wake up and I see he has gone. I pad out of my room and Tyler's alarm has just been turned off.

"Good dreams?" He mumbles, pretending to be sleepy. I have to give him credit, he is a pretty good actor! I nod and walk out, getting changed into something long sleeved.