Secrets... (Troyler self harm fanfic)

Chapter 9- A twisted party Part 1

Tyler's POV

"No..." I feel my face flush with embarrassment as the room goes quiet.

"But I will be your husband for life!" He grins at me and I get up, smiling like an idiot. I stare at his beautiful blue eyes as I slip the diamond ring onto his left ring finger. Wild cheers and claps are heard from the crowd and I must have looked flustered as Alfie handed me a bottle of iced champagne.

"DONT ruin this and get to drunk Ty... Don't make Troye regret saying yes." Alfie tells me. I nod timidly and walk back onto the stage.

"3.... 2...... 1!!" We count down as me and my future husband pop the champagne

"I love you Troye Sivan" I whisper as everyone claps and cheers.

"I love you  more Tyler Oakley" he smiles at me with such passion its almost criminal.

Troye's POV

I kinda HAD to leave everyone in suspense. I was naturally gonna say yes when the time came but I was really shocked when he asked me so soon.

"I wont get drunk... I promise" Tyler tells me later that night. the party was ending at 11pm considering Taxi's stopped after midnight. it was 10pm and so far so good. "The nights still young yet." I told myself each time I thought about it. There were a lot of Tyler's close friends here that I didn't know which made me incredibly uncomfortable

"Loosen up a bit Troye!" An overly-attached Caspar Lee stumbled over to me. I backed away slightly before I feel his lips on mine. The kiss is sloppy and that is one of my biggest turn-offs. I put up the biggest fight I could to get away and finally manage to free myself.

"You know you want me! Tyler only proposed because he feels pity on you! Just give yourself a break Troye and stop living in your fantasy world" Caspar growls harshly. I put it to the back of my mind but the more I think about it, the more it rings true... It was KINDA spontaneous for him to propose right after one of my biggest breakdowns yet. All of a sudden my wrists begin to itch and I decide that whilst I see no sign of Tyler, now is my chance. I run up to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I grab the bloody blade from before and twirl it in my fingers. What am I waiting for? For Tyler to come rescue my anorexic little ass? I wanted him to but I knew he wouldn't considering he was busy attending to party guests.

Tyler's POV

I found Zalfie cuddled up on the sofa. I smiled softly and suddenly ached to hold Troye. I knew I was getting tipsy so I woke myself up with coffee. Come to think of it, I hadn't see Troye in AGES! Where has he gone again?

Troye's POV

I take a deep breath and make the first cut, barely grazing my skin. I sigh, realizing this was going to be a hard one to conquer. I make a second one, a wave of relief rushing over me as I see blood seeping over the flap of skin. Wait. Relief?! I shake my head and make several more. Before I know it, I have unconsciously written Tyler in over 3 different places. All of a sudden I hear a firm knock on the door. Uh oh! With no jumper I cut a long, deep one under the biggest Tyler's name, hoping for a faster end to the urge. I eventually unlock the door and came face to face with a happy Tyler.

"Haii Tilly!" I squeal, hoping he is a little past tipsy.

"Troye... What. Were. You. Doing." He asks me, the happiness slowly dropping. The colour drains from my face as I realise one thing. Tyler is 100% sober and not in the slightest bit drunk or tipsy. I run to the bedroom, thanking my lucky stars it wasn't far away.

"Troye!! Get back here now!" I hear him shout, suddenly awake from the daze he was just in. How was I gonna explain this one to him? I huddle under the stiff sheets in an attempt to get comfy. I hear Tyler walk in and turn on the light. I pretend to be fast asleep but I know its not really working.

Tyler's POV

I had that sick feeling in my stomach that I knew only ever occurred when something wasn't right... As soon as I turn on the light and see Troye under the covers sleeping. I go to walk out as I mentally slap myself. He has literally JUST RAN IN HERE! I walk up to the bed and I see a tear seeping from beneath his eyelids as he turns to face the wall. I rest a hand on his arm and he tenses up before finally relaxing under my touch. As he does so, he lets out a small sob. He quickly tries to cover it up but I know he is really in pain this time. Something must have been dwelling on his mind

"Troye... What were you doing in the bathroom?" I breath deeply as I try not to freak out. He will tell me when he's ready, I repeatedly remind myself. He turns round with a steel look on his face.

"Tyler... You just made the worst mistake of your life you know that right?" Troye responds, a hint of harshness in his voice. I am puzzled by what he means so I give him a puzzled look in the hopes he will elaborate

"Downstairs... After I sang.. You just opened yourself a shit ton load of problems as soon as you said my name" he sobs, hiding his face. I realise instantly and begin to get angry. I need to get through his depressing side! I give up with taking my time.

"How bad are your cuts?" Troye looks up at me in shock and slowly gets up. I slowly reveal the blanket to see him covered in blood.

"I need to see where you ACTUALLY made the cuts Troye lets go." I mumble, coaxing him up. As I wipe him down I begin to see it more clearly. Once I'm done he wont let me get to close.

"Troye please stay still!" I beg. he nods slowly and I see one word written at least 5 times. TYLER. I put my hand to my mouth and step back. He winces as he moves forward. I hug him lightly.

"Who made you do this Troye?" I ask, gritting my teeth. I was totally ready to kill that person right now.

"No-one..." He mumbles, biting his lip. He looked so damn hot but I put off all temptations

"Troye TELL ME! If you don't I wont ever forgive you, nor me!" I promise. He glances up at me nervously.

"Fine...

A/N: So a bit of a cliff hanger! I realised that on one of my LushLaws fanfics, I had over 175 views so to see like max of 50 (currently) kinda upsets me...either way I need help! These are the two options:

1: Troye tells Tyler and they bust that person. Other happy things happen but with little bumps here and there. (A little bit of fluff but a lot shorter story)

2: Troye tells Tyler a lie and then Tyler has to separate the truth from the lies! ( lots of fluff (maybe a little bit of smut) and definitely longer!)

I noticed that people don't like the self-harm but mental illnesses don't go away over night! He will get gradually better but not fully... Oh and I have decided to set a goal! if you don't comment/vote, I wont update!!!

Goal: 2 votes and 1 comment

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