Secrets... (Troyler self harm fanfic)

An explanation....

Right so I've got 4 years to catch you all up on... This is also gonna be a triggering chapter, purely because there are more topics similar to the ones already covered in this book....

Right so let's start from where we left it, not a lot happened between 2014-2016 besides therapy, medication and lying about being okay. That was a long 2 years really... but then I found a boyfriend- 16th October 2016. We were together until 14th December 2016 and it was an experience.... after around the 6 month mark(?) he turned abusive after a pathetic argument. He strangled me in several different ways and then in the months that followed proceeded to hit me, use me sexually (I was still a virgin after this relationship ended), cheated on me whilst also using me for money and emotionally manipulating me.... that relationship ended how you'd expect- in a mess with a whole load of issues to follow.

Skip a week and I ended up with another guy, who lasted from the 21st December 2016 till mid April time 2018 ish? This ones a little hazy because the breakup was messy. I basically found out he'd been cheating on me (around 3 months before we actually broke up) and he tried to buy his way out of it, and it eventually broke me. I couldn't handle it. He also emotionally abused me and used me for money, though he actually earned more than me. I used my virginity as a way of trying to fix a broken relationship.... it didn't work. Needless to say that also came with emotional trauma, which involved me cutting and having a whole load of suicidal problems throughout those couple years.

More recent, I started dating a guy, who DIDNT end up going well. It was an Internet relationship, and he purely was looking for sexual shit which I wasn't. He ended up cheating on me with my friend after we set him up (massive long story) and that ended in a mess- which isn't surprising in this story. Currently with this guy I'm considering filing a harassment claim as up until recently when he blocked me (which wont be permanent for him), he'd message me and harass me at random times every day saying he missed me etc...

Now, as a 16 (almost 17 year old) I am currently falling for another guy. And looking back at my history, this one probably won't end well either..... but I have a good feeling about him. He's a little older, and still lives far away, but I'm meeting him this Friday (3rd August 2018) so.... yeah it's a whole new experience but he makes me happy, my suicidal thoughts and actions are lower than they have been in a while, it's a new experience and I'm confident in my judgement currently...

Besides my love life, I've got a job. That's a whole other story if you want it just comment :/

Sooo that was an update.... if you have any questions, just dm them me or comment them. I felt wrong for leaving this story on hold for so long without an update. I've always loved this story the most and it sucked that I didn't have any updates to give you guys, so I'm really trying right now :P

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