Troye's POV
I absent-mindedly cut both sides of my hips, arms, legs, thighs...
"Troye If you don't open this door now I will fucking break it down!" he threatens. I pray to God that by the time he gets in, I will have bled out unable to be helped... I hear a crow bar and Tyler dashing in. He stops dead in his tracks.
"Tyler... Leave. NOW!" I insist, using all my energy to say it. He shakes his head and begins to assess the situation. He starts with the deepest cut on my wrists.
"Troye... You better have a fucking good reason for putting yourself through this pain..." Tyler murmurs. I cant grumble that even though I was losing heaps of blood, I enjoyed Tyler up so close.
"How do we..." He hesitates, gesturing towards the cuts. I weakly point under the sink. he opens his eyes wide in shock. With a momentary distraction, I begin trying to crawl out.
"Troye get back here now!" Tyler demands. He wasn't angry... Just HURT I guess that I didn't tell him... that I had an Anxiety Disorder... That I cut... I crawled back and began weeping again. He turned around with two rolls of Gauze. I watch him wrap it, tenderly making sure not to hurt me. He carried me into my bed and began walking away.
"Tyler! Stay... Please..." I beg. He nods and cuddles lightly around my stomach.
"Troye... I love you. MORE than my best friend..." He mumbles into my hair. Tyler Oakley, my crush since I was 9, has just told me he loves me. Like ACTUALLY loves me...
"I love you too Tilly." I mumble back, settling into Tyler's chest.
Tyler's POV
I tried to sleep. I honestly did. I kept a firm grip on Troye to make sure he didn't attempt again...I wondered what had made him cause so much harm to himself. I had seen scars, scabs, and now some of the worst looking cuts ever.... I flashback to our Truths game... Shit! I was hinting at Troye when I said about the guy I like. Now he thought he wasn't good enough for him.
"Troye?" I whisper, gently nudging him awake.
"Why did you... cut?" I grimace at the thought. I know he's awake and I can see a tear rolling down his cheek.
"Shh Troye... We don't have to talk now..." I coo in his ear, wiping away his tears. I turn him to face me and he looks like a little boy. Broken and vulnerable. My heart breaks and I do the only thing I can do. I kiss him passionately. Our lips move in sync and I want to continue but I pull him to my chest instead. After about an hour he speaks.
Troye's POV
"I cut... because you love someone else Tyler... Because I needed sanity... Because I felt worthless... Because of all the hate comments I get." I finish, sobbing 10 times harder now.
"Tyler can I ask YOU a question?" I ask him, looking in his eyes. He sees I really want to so he nods.
"Who did you mean... On the day we played Truths..." I murmur.
"Troye-boy... I meant you! Everyone knew so it was kinda hard for me to NOT blush when they kept referring to you!" He giggles. I smile and close my eyes.
"Troye... Promise me you wont cut again! Promise me." He urges, opening my eyes.
"Its not that easy Tyler... I will TRY..." I sigh. NOTHING is ever so simple with life. He nods reluctantly and sleeps with me.
(It has been like a week since that night ^^)
Tyler's POV
I'm mega proud of my boyfriend! I asked him to be my boyfriend 2 days after we cuddled in bed and he started crying. He has been ALOT more sensitive ever since that day and I am glad he is getting better. Today, I decided I would walk in on him getting changed because he wont let me see him.
"I'm ashamed. And I know you respect that babe..." He once whimpered. I understood but I didn't wanna. He had just finished drying his hair and I walk in on him. He doesn't see me, as he silently cries in front of the mirror. As he turns to his left I look him up and down...
"Babe??" I decide to call out, near to tears. He spins round and grabs something to hide behind but I had the only thing: A towel.
"Tell me those aren't recent!" I virtually plead. He looks down at the ground, clearly ashamed.
A/N: So there is a bit of a twist! You didn't think I would spoil the ending right? ;) new chapter up by tonight hopefully! Omg I feel sooo shattered since this morning... How are you guys?
- Livvy LushLaws xoxo
Twitter: livvygymnast123
Instagram: lushlawlivvy123
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Secrets... (Troyler self harm fanfic)
FanfictionThis is a fanfic and MAY be triggering! This is all experiences I may/may not have had with me and my friends... It is about Troye Sivan and Tyler Oakley. It IS a self harm fanfic and all my story's will have that in... I honestly don't mean to offe...
