Catfish | P.J

③⓪

I had went days on end without talking to Anna. It hurt so bad but with my mother finding out about the relationship we had was enough to turn my hairs grey. My mother was plotting something, and that worried me. She had Hansol, her personal driver, assisting me to and from school too often and gave me the excuse that it was because she "wanted me to be safe".

I had put on my casual white shirt and black pants for school and rolled back onto my bed in discomfort. Ever since she's been back my life had changed; I can't live comfortably with her snaking my every move, breathing down my neck. I have no idea who had picked Anna up in that car the other night but something tells me my mother had something to do with it. Never had she ever done something without getting anything in return.

I heard knocks at my door, "Jimin-ah, your food is going to get cold." She exclaimed in the faux motherly voice she has been doing this past week.

As I heard her walking away, I leached onto my phone, checking of there were any messages From her. Again, there wasn't, but it was nice thinking she'd still care about me - or at least thought about me. I pick up the pair of shoes I had left by my door and headed to the dinning room downstairs. Downstairs I was greeted by my mother like usual with a wide, might I mention, fake, smile on her face. She pushed the plate over in my direction while grabbing some sauce in a small bowl.

"Eat up, Jimin-ah. You have a big day today."

I looked up at her. "And why is that?"

She sat down at she table and held my hand, flicking her hair to one side. This wasn't good. Whatever she's done, she has been planning it for a while. I held my breath, unprepared, I closed my eyes and scrunched my face slightly in discomfort. I had place the fork on the table and placed my hand over my lap, pinching my thigh a little bit to distracted me from whatever she was about to say.

"Today is you last day at Oasis high, you're going to study in Japan with your brother starting Monday." She smiled before standing up like it was nothing, "I thought you were getting distracted by that Anayese girl. Why didn't you tell me you were dating a... Kkamdungi." She sighed with relief as she said it, like it was built up inside of her.

My face twitched at her racial slur, my fingers no longer pinching but digging into my left thigh. I had stood up from the table and shot and unforgiving look at her, biting onto the inside of my lip.  My sister had stopped eating her food. Jongmin's jaw had tightened with what I had assumed was anger but his eyes fell down to his book that was being crushed between his fingertips. Seomin had her mouth hung open, her facial expression confused, it was hard to figure out if she was intrigued or if she had been disgusted by what had just come out of my 'mother's' mouth.

•

I had sat down under the tree at break, I felt like I could stay here for days, years. Taehyung walked over to me with a tray of food and a poster from off of the cafeteria wall. Right behind him, in the distance, was her. My lip crumpled at the sight of her. What am I to you? Do I mean anything to you? There were so many questions I wanted to ask Anayese; if only she'd care enough to listen. I had taken the chip out of my phone and replaced it with a new one. I called Ana. I just needed to know if she was avoiding me.

I stared at her, my face drained of color and posture raked of energy. She picked up. I could hear her voice "Hello?" . I took I'm a heavy breath as I imagined her right next to me. My chin buried in her ruffled curls and our arms wrapped around each other. My chin crumpled as she hung up the phone and I threw mine, hiding my face between the space in my arms that rested on my knees. What did I do wrong?

"Ji...Jimin ah, I brought you some sam-kim and a carton. You're hungry, right?"

...

"Jimin..."

•

"Jimin I can't do this. I can't pretend like you're okay. But it is the only way I'll know. Why won't you won't open up to me." He placed the tray down on the grass and sat next to me under the tree. "Tell me what I've done wrong."

"Taehyung..." he nodded, "I want you to remember that no matter what, I'll never forget you; if I ever leave, I will be back. Remember that."

"Whatever you say Jimin ah~" he smiled and ruffled my heart before forwarding the Sam-Kim.

I kindly rejected it and leaned my head up against the trunk of the tree, wiping away the tears at the brim of my eyes away with my sleeve. A smile just about swept across my face as Taehyung engrossed me in a tight hug. However it didn't last long, memories full of deep sorrow and what is now dead love skimmed through my memories. I was addicted to love when she's my supplier. I feel alone again...

If I don't have her love than this life is nothing. All I want to do is feel her touch but all I feel is cold and alone again.

•

I sat outside her house on the bench, watching the silhouette that laid against her bedroom wall. I wonder if Ana felt the way I did: lied to, full of hatred, however, still addicted to something that never existed. I had watched the silhouette of her studying for ten minutes, thinking about how she would be better of without me, but thinking about how I needed her more than I realised. Japan was far. Too far to think about.

I had used the last bit on dignity and self respect for myself and thrown it away, I, Park Jimin, was about to get the answer I wanted, the closure I needed. Without thought, I rung her door bell, but the words I had planned inside my head had fled my mind, I stood there. She looked beautiful; just like the last times I saw her, she had blown me away with her unforgivingly angelic features.

"Why are you here?" She asked.

Anayese's voice did not sound harsh or angry, instead, I heard empathy and sorrowful discomfort in her voice. With each syllable her voice cracked a little more and it hurt. Despite the redness of her eyes which had occurred due to crying, not a tear mark was found on her face.

I had brought my hand up to her face and cupped it gently, leaning my lips towards her ones.

"Jimin, stop."

It hurt. I was no longer good enough for her as Jimin and was a disappointment to her. She hated me. I looked down to see her jumper's sleeves. They fully covered her arms, however red, vertical lines had stained them, the color quite darkening. All I wanted to do was help her, show her I love her, but I have made everything worse. I've ruined her life.

I cried in front of her. I fell to my knees and cried in pain. I howled and she just stood there. Ana said nothing. I really had lost everything over her but every second was worth it.

Thank all of you my little cummlings~ lol I have a second book planned and I was wondering if you guys would be interested? I'm probably going to post it anyway but I wanted to know if it'd get a few viewers from this book. Any-who... I hope y'all enjoyed! Adios

Almost finished this book finally

Xx

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