It hurts when you figure out that
-the people you considered as a family consider you less than a friend
-the people you cared about the most they care about you the least
-the people you are afraid of losing doesn't give a shit if they lost you
No one reveals their true feelings for each other every one is good at hiding their feelings but I'm not
I'm trying not tell people how i feel about them or even how i truly feel but I'm so fuckin' bad at it
But it doesn't matter i kinda got used to it
Now I'm replacing this by writing my feelings but it's not helping at all
-Why do i always have that feeling that I'm treated differently?
Why do i feel that I'm not liked by everyone?
How do i feel lonely all the time even when I'm surrounded by people?
I have never felt like i belong
I'm an outcast
a misfit
I always feel ignored by people like I'm invisible or something
No one cares about my opinion
And most of the times i was right
My voice is never heard or even respected
Why do i make myself miserable all the time?
I'm delusional and living in dreams
And it just makes it worse
And every fuckin' time i lose my dream
I have never won
I can't figure out my way
Tell me What's my purpose in this life?
I expect alot and get nothing and i still expecting and i still getting nothing
why am i doing this to myself?
I tried facing my problems i tried running away from them
But in every way i go it only gets worse
Everything isn't like 5 months ago in a very bad way
I know it should be different but not that different
My best friends treats me differently now yes we had fights and arguments but we always got back stronger
But now something is different something is missing we don't talk to each other like we used to do the way they talk to me and treat me is different and i hate this so much
It's all bad in my opinion nothing is good
Too much stress for nothing
Is it all because of that shity dream that i have already lost?
I don't know
I think maybe it is
