Not My Husband

Chapter 5

"So, I chased after him and he tossed the gun on a roof. I swore he was going to turn around and start shooting. If he did, there was nothing for me to take cover behind so we would have been in the alleyway having a gun battle," Kia said before inhaling the smoke from the hookah and blowing it into the air.

"That is so crazy," I responded. It was so hard to believe she had seen so much during her time as an officer. I always thought the crazy stuff occasionally happened, not every single day. "So I know you didn't have to that night, but have you ever shot anyone?" I asked, wondering if she ever felt the guilt that was now beginning to suffocate me.

"No, luckily I never had to, she replied. Kia reached over and poured herself a shot of vodka, taking it back before parting her lips again. "There was a time when I could have, but I froze."

"What do you mean?"

"I was brand new on the street and responded to a violent domestic with my partner. When we responded a man had rushed out the door and pounced on me. I could have fought back...I should have." Another shot was poured, but this time she set it down on the table and stared at it. "I have no idea what happened but I didn't move and after punching me in the face, his arms wrapped around my neck. I started to blackout, and the next thing I heard was the shot."

"The shot?"

"From my partner. Apparently, he shot the suspect a few times."

"Did the guy die?"

"Nope. The bad guys never do. They can get shot a hundred times and walk away but let a cop be grazed on the arm, we will drop dead. He is somewhere sitting in jail for assaulting me and putting his wife in a coma, but people like him don't care about sitting in a cell."

"Kia. That is craziness. I'm so glad you made it out of that situation. Where is your partner now? Did he also get promoted?"

She looked down and threw back the next shot. "He...umm...we...umm...I haven't spoken to him since that day. He requested a transfer immediately after the incident and never answered my calls. His wife deleted me from her Facebook account, and I got the message after that."

There was no response I could give that would have shined some sort of positive light on those dark memories. What an asshole, I thought. We should have conversed about our college days or something else. The subject needed to be changed quickly. "This is a beautiful home. How long have you been in here?"

"Seven years. I love the neighborhood too. Glenside has always been a quiet area, so I it was a no-brainer for me to move out here."

"I'm so jealous. I've always wanted to live in the suburbs, but unfortunately, my husband wanted us to move up Northeast Philly to be close to this business he opened." Frustration built up just thinking about his selfish ass. A complete waste of my time and energy. The anger must have masked my face because Kia slid me a glass and slowly poured the Cîroc. The smooth liquor burned my throat as it went down and warmed up my midsection. The taste of the Summer Colada was bearable, but I could tell that one or two more shots would be my limit.

"So how has the married life been?"

"To be honest, it's up and down?" It had been so long since anyone had actually asked me about my marriage. Everybody thought it was so perfect because we posted beautiful pictures online and always seemed happy when we were out at social events. No one knew the sacrifices I made for that man, all the nights I slept alone wishing he were next to me, and all the times I had to please myself because he wasn't in the mood to touch me. There was a lot of heartache that was kept bottled up.

"What are the downs?" Kia asked, making direct eye contact and reaching toward my empty glass.

"Where do I start?" I inquired, laughing to keep myself from getting emotional. "Giving up my dreams to support his, tons of broken promises and on top of it all, we still don't have any children. I expected to have at least two children by this age."

"I definitely know what you mean. I thought I would be a mother by now too."

"Have you tried?"

"Yes, with my ex-boyfriend. I had a miscarriage due to all the stress he put me through during the relationship. Now I just want to find love and get married. I still want a baby, but I think love will make me happy."

Both of our glasses were suddenly filled. "Make sure you focus on happiness," I muttered before swallowing the liquid that was in my glass.

"Aren't they one in the same?"

"Hell no," I said sternly. "Never sacrifice your happiness for 'love.' True love will make you happy.