The Black Wings

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

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My general composure seems fragile as we head back to our camp in realtive slience. I can't let Junior in on half the stuff at the temple but how do I let him know not to trust anyone without a clear explaination?

I feel scumy and unclean both on the outside and the inside. I need to cleanse myself, a fresher starter here. Maybe it will go away once I rinse it off that this can all be done simple.

Nadie told us that there was a bathing pool under a waterfall that's only a short fly south of our base. That's where I want to go, away from this.

I let Junior know as he meets up with Wy who appears to be sewning clothes with needle and thread.

He always was a strange one.

Transforming, I let my beak push through. I don't know why honestly, it just gives me a sense of my identity. This has been the only truth that I've been able to hold dear to myself since I was a child, that I had wings, a beak, and talons unfortunately.

The fly itself only takes a few mintues, it's kinda hard to miss the crashing of a waterfall.

I land and find myself alone which makes me content. I don't think I can handle anyone right now.

Before I dive first into the bank of sparkling yet murky water, I test it with the tips of my toes and feel the warmth blanket over them in a soothingly wet feel.

I check one last time that I'm alone, listening to the noises of the surrounding forest although only the sounds of rushing water fill my ears.

Carefully, I peel off my shirt and everything else. Usually I'm a messy person but I find myself folding my clothes in a neat stack like my father would with his.

Neither one of us inherited his neatness, that's for damn sure.

Taking a breath, I take steps deeper and deeper into the water, breaking the gentle surface into tiny ripples.

I become concious of my breathing as it rattles my lungs. I bite my bottom lip as I remind myself that I can't drown in this shallow water.

I loath swimming, and oceans, and basically anything to do with water other than drinking.

Fearless, I am fearless, I mentally chant while stroking out towards the waterfall. I stick my head under the masses of falling water and brush my rough fingers through my long hair as I rinse it.

The warm water drips down everywhere and I start scrubbing the skin on my arms madly.

Let me be free, let me cleanse myself from all the things that leave a mark on me.

The day I have to tell Nadie about Balkin's death. Scrub. Meeting Ace and hiding it from everyone. Scrub. The deaths of innocent black wings and I can't do a damn thing about it. Scrub. My fate. Scrub.

My arms and my back are almost bleeding by the time I stop. They're red and blistering.

I'm going mad, insane at this rate. The pressure is getting to me and this place certainly isn't helping.

I close my hands into fists until my knuckles turn to white. Breathe, I attempt to calm myself down, just fucking take a breath.

I have to stay in tact. I can't fight like this when I'm on the verge of breaking. I have to awaken as a proper savior but with a focused mind in utter clarity.

Stepping out from the waterfall, I completely submerge myself under the water as best as I can. I ignore my panic and take on my greatest fear head-on. If I can do this I can do almost anything.