The Best Days

Chapter 3

After a long, dramatic, and drawn out goodbye at the closing of orientation weekend I bid farewell to Kendra, Haley, and Erika. Honestly, it was all a bit unnecessarily theatrical considering we'd be back for fall semester in another two weeks. But regardless, I had more than a few tears in my eyes as I climbed into the cab that would take me and Joshua to the airport.

Josh eyed me curiously. "I take it you had a good time this weekend?"

Oh, Joshua, I had an awesome time actually. I could not wait for school to start!

Unfortunately for me, the next two weeks went by agonizingly slow as a result of my eagerness. I spent most of my time chatting on Facebook and getting my books together for the first day of school. I was taking four different subjects and a lab. I had yet to declare a major so all my classes were basic graduation requirements.

I was at my desk one Sunday morning penciling my schedule into my fancy new pink agenda when I saw an email notification pop up onto my screen. It was from SFSU. I quickly dropped my pencil and clicked the email open. The subject read, On Campus Residency.

I could hardly contain myself as I skimmed through the email that I knew would hold all my precious dorm/roommate info.

Jenny Jameson, we would like to inform you...blah blah blah....residency assignment....blah blah blah..... Saturnus....traditional coed residence hall.....

I let out a sigh of relief, at least it wasn't Mercurius which had been my very last choice. I quickly scrolled down to the bottom where it said the important stuff.

Roommate....Ashley Strauss.

I let out a mini excited scream. I had a roommate!

I went onto Facebook and typed her name into the search. A few results came up but the women in the profile pictures looked a bit older than a college freshman should look. One girl was even from Finland and I was willing to bet that my new roommate wouldn't be coming from Finland.

Or was she?

Anyway I guess Ashley Strauss, my new roommate, wasn't into the whole social networking scene. I was horribly disappointed. I had come to rely on the Facebook thing, quite sadly. Alas, I would have to wait until the weekend to actually meet her. The horror.

I sent a message to Erika complaining about my misfortune before logging off. I spun around in my chair idly for a bit knowing I should be packing up the last of my things so Josh could have them shipped but also being super lazy at the same time. That was what I was still doing when I heard a gentle knock on my room door.

"Jennifer, it's time for church."

It was my mom. The only person in the world who called me Jennifer. I suppressed the urge to let out a sigh and turned my chair so that it was facing the door.

"It's open," I said as she opened the door and stepped halfway inside.

What did she want? I was always ready on time for church. We went every Sunday at eleven in the morning, like clockwork, since before I could even remember. Reminding me about church couldn't have been the reason she was standing at my door looking about as uncomfortable as I felt with her hair up in its bun and dressed in her Sunday best.

She was really a pretty lady. People often said we had the same face. Sometimes I would see the resemblance,  we had the same full lips and doe shaped eyes after all. But she almost never smiled and her eyes had lost their shine ages ago. So most times I just thought they were on crack.

"Jennifer, is this yours?" She held up to me a small velvet jewelry box that I'd thought I'd gotten rid of ages ago.

My eyes narrowed. "Where did you get that?" I got up and took the box from her, holding it away from me. It was like it had returned from the dead. It was the box of the last gift that Derek had given me. I opened it up and inside was the D and J necklace.

I quickly snapped it shut. Just seeing it caused my emotions to get all muddled.

"You're so lucky someone at the Good Will had the decency to deliver it back here after they found it in the donation box—"

"That's where I'd wanted it to stay!" I snapped. I looked up at my ceiling. When had the room begun to spin? I stumbled back into my desk chair.

My mother paused as if trying to register my anger. "I don't know why you're so mad. Didn't Derek buy this for you, honey? It looks expensive—"

"Me and Derek aren't together anymore, Mommy. We broke up almost two months ago!"

"You did?" She seemed genuinely surprised. How didn't she know this? Why was this news to her?

I was exasperated with her and I was exasperated with Derek. How did he keep creeping up into my life? I'd tried to rid myself of all things him. Everything that reminded me of him I threw out or donated. CDs, books, clothes, and all the gifts he'd ever given me. But this necklace had resurfaced and it represented everything I hated, loved, and wanted badly to forget.

I massaged my temple, suddenly my head was pounding.

My mother was clearly over our interaction, she slowly edged back out the door. "Okay, well, I'm leaving out in five minutes. Be by the car or else I'm leaving you."

We both knew good and well she wasn't going to leave me. We went to church together every Sunday for appearances sake. To everyone else we seemed like the perfect mother and daughter pair. But appearances can be deceiving.

Sitting in the church services was like I was somewhere else watching myself go through the motions. Sure I smiled when I had to. I sang and clapped when I had to. But my mind was elsewhere. I watched people. Observed every little action. Were all these people around me hiding something, too? I'd heard about Jesus and God all my life but never knew Him for myself. As far as I was concerned He didn't hear my prayers. If He did I'd have my dad still, a Derek who didn't hit me, and a mom who knew I existed. 

After church everyone wished me well in college. I was still feeling a bit downtrodden from the necklace debacle earlier that day so my enthusiasm wasn't up to my mother's standards. She was getting annoyed by me now with her arms folded defensively across her chest as I drove us home. "Why are you so pissed all of a sudden? It seems like every time someone says anything you just have this sour look on your face."

I tried to remain stoic. "I'm not mad, mommy..." Oh, I was so much more than mad.

"Is it because I didn't come to your little orientation weekend? I said I was sorry. Work has just been sucking me dry." As she said this she pulled out her phone and began checking her emails.

"Oh, please." I almost laughed.

As if that was the reason I was mad at her. Like my anger was new and sudden. Like it hadn't been building up for years.

"With an attitude like that it's no wonder a guy like Derek dumped you." She gave me an accusing look because I was of course to blame for my relationship going bad.

No wonder a guy like Derek dumped you...

I could not believe she'd said that. Was that really the way she thought of me? As I gripped the steering wheel with two hands, I let out a sigh, almost as though in defeat. I wanted to cry. But there was something in the way blocking the tears from falling.

Defiance.

What else could I say anyway? I mean nothing could erase the hurt and pain that I felt but I was entering a new chapter in my life and I wanted to leave all that stuff with Derek behind. I wanted to be close with my mom again and I hoped the next four years of my life, the supposed best years, would be where it happened.