Everything I see is a bluegreenyelloworangeblack haze of reality. I am the one controlling my body, yet I am not the one controlling my body. Am I the one dreaming or am I just watching myself dream as if I were a movie on a projector screen? It would not matter because everyday I am forced to watch a movie I wish with my whole being I did not have to watch. Suffering silently and miserably. A curse. A disease. Is what I have. But there are no cures. 'Just deal with it,' they tell you because they have no idea either of how to fix you. Your broken, dissociated self. You can't describe to them how you feel because it is not that simple. It is not just a feeling of sad or lonely. It is depressing and overtaking and unbearable and confusing and where am I, again? Depersonalization is not something you simply 'just deal with.' It is something you live with. And because of that everything I see is a bluegreenyelloworangeblack haze of reality and unfortunately always will be.
A/N: Dp/dr stands for depersonalization/derealization, if you didn't know that already.
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Stupid Poetry Book
PoetryA collection of experimental poems. They're cool, I guess. You'll just have to check them out for yourself.
